Category Archives: Journal

1996: The Feast of Hecate

Posted on August 12, 2024 by jenny

Written on August 14, 1996.  I was on a retreat with Deena Metzger on the south shore of Massachusetts.  It was the Feast of Hecate, and we planned to do a ritual at night. This piece of writing is partly … Continue reading →

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March 1976: The Journal is Center

Posted on August 9, 2024 by jenny

(written in March 1976 and initially posted in July 2012) Today I felt very depressed and sick.  The old fear came back, fear of the ringing phone, of the sun and wind outside.  I went looking for an escapist book, … Continue reading →

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1996: Praying for Help Loving, and Being Answered

Posted on August 7, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for July 20, 1996 I’ve been praying to the God of Love for help.  I don’t know if I wrote about it — last time maybe driving back from Beverly’s I was again in that awful place … Continue reading →

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1996: Thoughts about “God” as “Universal Process”

Posted on August 5, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for July 11, 1996.  I’m visiting my friend Randi in the southern part of New Hampshire. It occurred to me, looking at Randi’s beautiful mezuzah by her door, that I would like to make such a thing … Continue reading →

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1996: Ongoing Struggle with Plane Noise

Posted on August 2, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 16, 1996 I’m playing Darrone because if I think of this as a battle, as a shamanic ordeal, then it’s easier to do.  Otherwise I think of myself as a hypersensitive coward who freaks out … Continue reading →

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1996: Auditory Integration Training

Posted on July 31, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 16, 1996 Note: AIT stands for Auditory Integration Training. I hoped it might limit my extreme reaction to the noise of the planes. I’m not looking forward to today.  I didn’t want to get out … Continue reading →

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1996: Co-counseling

Posted on July 29, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 15, 1996 [A friend and I are doing co-counseling, each speaking for 20 minutes] I really enjoy watching this wonderful process of “organic thought,” how it starts out meandering and groping, and yet seems to … Continue reading →

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1996: The Organic Process of Thought

Posted on July 28, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 14, 1996 Karen said “You started off meandering and came back to yourself,”  but I’m not so sure that’s where I arrived.  The organic process of thought, that arrives not at some pre-ordained goal, but … Continue reading →

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1996: “Old” World and “New” World

Posted on July 27, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 5, 1996 It’s not so much the fear that I am going to do something “wrong,” it’s the knowledge that I am “wrong,” and nothing I can do will change it.  And then I feel … Continue reading →

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1996: Feeling Safe for the First Time

Posted on July 22, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 6, 1996 O gosh I feel so awful.  I’m also scared — the old stuff — how will I take care of myself — feeling that I don’t have the resources to get my needs … Continue reading →

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