Category Archives: Depression

1995: Learned Helplessness

From my journal for December 16, 1995 Dana got me a book, The Optimistic Child.  It was written by a man who worked with “learned helplessness” and put together a team to figure out how to help kids who are … Continue reading →

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1995: Practice of “Being With”

From my journal for November 25, 1995 The truth is that my ability to express my creativity is very fragile, needs a lot of support and safety and no expectations.  This is very painful because at the same time I … Continue reading →

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Obstreperous Child

The Daily Good today  (10/22/23) was an essay by Francis Weller on grief. When I first heard about his work from my therapist, I went to a retreat on the west coast. But I have been struggling with a lot … Continue reading →

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1995: Trying to Pretend I’m “Normal”

From my journal for November 21, 1995 No headache this morning, just the despair.  The headache would have been manageable without the despair, I’ve lived through worse, but last night the two together were too much.  I see that the … Continue reading →

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1995: Struggle with Issues Around Medication

From my journal for November 19, 1995 I’m afraid I’m not keeping up with my discipline around sleeping.  I think I’ve dropped my discipline because I see Dr. Stoll in a couple of days, and I’m hoping for a magic … Continue reading →

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1995: The Importance of Heart and Soul

From my journal for November 17, 1995.  By this time I am regularly questioning why I keep writing.  I am typing up roughly a year later, and sometime next year I stop typing completely.  I thought I might stop writing, … Continue reading →

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1995: Exploring the Bottom

This is a continuation of the post from September 13, called Moving Along the Bottom. The journal entries are also from November 1995 Work with Karen.  Exploring the bottom.  Lying on the bed I’m aware of a featureless waste, a … Continue reading →

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1995: “Happiness is a Choice?”

From my journal for Sept 5,1995 Reading the new version of Son-Rise — a friend offered it to me because of their practice of radical acceptance of their autistic son — I find myself very angry at the exposition of … Continue reading →

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1995: Symptoms of Trauma

At this point in 1995 I had no idea I was dealing with PTSD. From my journal for November 10: Second cup of tea. … and nothing to say.  I feel cold.  There’s the ache in my stomach and heart … Continue reading →

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1995: The Trauma of “Don’t think you’re so great”

In this passage I see that I am essentially a creative person, but I’ve never been able to actualize more than a small percentage of what I was capable of. The reason is because of my mother constantly telling me … Continue reading →

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