Category Archives: Depression

The Descent into Hell

Posted on October 20, 2014 by jenny

This piece is from a retreat I did with Deena on Martha’s Vineyard in September 1998.  Deena was using as a theme of the story of Psyche and Eros.  The descent into the Underworld is part of Psyche’s story.  I … Continue reading →

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The Closing Down of Jenny

Posted on September 20, 2014 by jenny

Here’s Jenny as a baby, open and eager to engage with the world… This picture was taken when Jenny was four years old.  Alas, I lost or mislaid the original, so this is a scan of a copy — not … Continue reading →

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Finally Able to See Lifelong Pain

Posted on September 9, 2014 by jenny

I want to write about how feeling stronger is allowing me to see the pain I was in for most of my life.  I had no idea.  I thought I was “too sensitive,” defective in some way, a coward that … Continue reading →

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Past Misery

Posted on August 29, 2014 by jenny

I don’t really want to write down all the details of yesterday. I think I’d rather explore some topic. This is a change. Possibly it started with the work with Erica. I know this writing is a daily discipline, possibly … Continue reading →

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Lifelong Fear

Posted on August 27, 2014 by jenny

I’ve been thinking that most of my life I’ve been scared that I’ll do something wrong and everyone will reject and leave me and scared that I’ll fail to do something I’m supposed to do and everyone will reject and … Continue reading →

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“Thanksgiving”

Posted on August 25, 2014 by jenny

From the “Mimi” journal.  In my adolescence, I started writing a journal.  I had read the Diary of Anne Frank, and copied her idea of letters to an invisible friend.  This was written in 1959 when I was 17. Thursday, 26 … Continue reading →

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Depression & Apathy

Posted on August 25, 2014 by jenny

I was tired all day and I’m still tired but this morning I’m feeling bleak.  It would be depression except that I know intellectually that help is just around the corner. I want to think about the difference between apathy … Continue reading →

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Faithful, not Successful

Posted on June 30, 2014 by jenny

Father Greg, in Tattoos on the Heart, quotes Mother Teresa: “We are not called to be successful, but faithful.” I thought about that a lot yesterday.  What am I called to be faithful to?  I think of my accepted task, … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Choices

Posted on June 29, 2014 by jenny

I felt better this morning once I got out of bed.  Lying in bed after I woke up was miserable.  I’m thinking that if God comes to us disguised as our life — for a moment I saw my miserable … Continue reading →

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Changing Medication

Posted on June 28, 2014 by jenny

Some friends were worried because I’ve been going up and down a lot, and sometimes badly depressed. So I called Bill Cote, and he said he would prescribe Lamotrigine, which is a mood stabilizer.  I decided it was worth a … Continue reading →

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