Category Archives: Depression

Appreciation, Enjoyment, and Gratitude

I have always done my best to be grateful, in opposition to my mother who managed to find something wrong with everything.  (See 4th of July Monologue)  She could also hold a grudge for many years.  I have done my … Continue reading →

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Shame Attack about Self-care

After I posted the piece about my morning routine, I had a shame attack: “How can I complain when there are so many people who have much harder mornings…”  I was very upset at posting that material and was going … Continue reading →

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Bleak. Discouraged.

Monday, October 5 Bleak.  Very discouraged.  Got up to shit. To tired to make tea.  Went back to bed, but totally unable to think of anything that would make me feel better. Enjoying my life is not important.  Doing something … Continue reading →

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To Write Love On Her Arms

Friday, August 14 I went to the Co-op in Montpelier hoping to get blueberries.  No blueberries!  what a disappointment!  And a little scary.  What happened to the blueberry crop? I was on my way to see my therapist Karen.  I … Continue reading →

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April 4, 1968

I wrote this in 1968, while I was living with Fred.  It’s undated in my journal I don’t know where to start.  It seemed as though the volcano was going to blow last night.  I wanted to smash a window … Continue reading →

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Darkness Before Dawn

One of the chapters in Darkness Before Dawn spoke so well to me that I marked a lot of passages.  It’s called “Into the Dark Light” by Elizabeth Rabia Roberts. She says “any loss that strips away the identity you … Continue reading →

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Depression

I’ve been struggling with depression for about a month.  It’s the first time I’ve been depressed in a long time.  This is what I wrote this morning. Woke up terrified with a bad headache.  I haven’t had this hard a … Continue reading →

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Need Cheering Up?

I’m feeling blue and need some cheering up.  The Daily Good today sent Matt Dancing.  How could I forget about Matt? Matt dancing in 2008 Words to song: The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and … Continue reading →

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Mother’s Day

I haven’t posted anything in a long time because I’ve been having such a bad time.  I still don’t understand what’s going on well enough to talk about it.  I haven’t the faintest idea how to heal the gap that’s … Continue reading →

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Depression in Reaction to Feeling Good

I wrote this paragraph for a group called Patients Like Me, writing it for other people dealing with PTSD. The worst thing about PTSD for me is to be where I am now: Technically called hypoarousal, it also means depressed … Continue reading →

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