Category Archives: Trauma

Angry Five-Year-Old

Posted on August 23, 2010 by jenny

(Written in December 2006) Karen helped me shift from conflict about “being open to a lover” to paying attention to the part of myself that I would rather let be dead.  What I saw was a just raped 5 year … Continue reading →

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What not to say to us

Posted on August 22, 2010 by jenny

(I wrote this in 1990, for a friend of mine struggling with PTSD.  At the time I knew I was having a somewhat similar struggle with depression, but I had no idea I was dealing with PTSD too.) What not … Continue reading →

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Journey from Abandonment to Healing

Posted on August 13, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2007) I’ve been reading a book The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Armstrong, and finding it extraordinarily helpful.  She talks about childhood abandonments as well as divorce and adult breakups.  She describes five stages and … Continue reading →

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Cold Intellectual Place

Posted on August 11, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2007) Bad morning.  Woke up feeling nauseous and in that cold detached place.  Trying to think who this cold intellectual place could be (what an odd phrasing!) I think it’s the five-year-old.  She’s fed up with a … Continue reading →

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Traumatized World View

Posted on August 9, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2007) Woke scared.  I say to myself “This is a trauma based world view.” I say “everything’s gonna be all right.” I say “Mother is dead, she can’t hurt you now.” Saw Dave yesterday for Somatic Experiencing.  … Continue reading →

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Psychological Patterns

Posted on July 27, 2010 by jenny

When my husband and I were first married, we took a course called DMA.  It was about how to manifest the life you want.  It had been created by Robert Fritz, who also created (and still teaches) “Structural Consulting”. Dana … Continue reading →

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Living with PTSD

Posted on July 26, 2010 by jenny

(Written in February 2008) I notice that my urgency has faded for both the dance project and the letter to the editor.  Not that I don’t still care, but I’m more able to accept the reality of my lack of … Continue reading →

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Child in Despair

Posted on July 22, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2007) Please help me.  I recite it over and over but don’t feel any answer.  I have been able to imagine a safe place: it’s a little room in a nunnery and a very kind old woman … Continue reading →

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Ashram Day

Posted on July 21, 2010 by jenny

(Written in February 2007) My heart feels exploded with terror.  My brain’s not working very well.  I can’t tell if that’s because I’m scared, or if that’s what’s making me scared.  Can I bring kindness to my fear?  Can I … Continue reading →

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Wild Turkeys

Posted on July 20, 2010 by jenny

It was 1996, the summer from Hell.  In February I had tried Paxil for 5 days while my terror shot through the roof & got worse & worse until the 5th night when I didn’t sleep at all.  So I … Continue reading →

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