Category Archives: Trauma

Insight —> Endurance —> Action

Posted on April 1, 2017 by jenny

I spent my time with Erica talking about the good things that I’ve been doing spontaneously: taking apart the puzzle that’s been there for three months, playing music that I haven’t listened to for years, starting to meditate regularly, being … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Healing, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Insight —> Endurance —> Action

What it’s like to live with PTSD

Posted on March 27, 2017 by jenny

This is a series of journal entries from June 2016.  I think it gives an immediate sense of what my life is like. Driving home it was a glorious day, blue sky, white clouds, green trees, enough breeze to make … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Guidance, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on What it’s like to live with PTSD

Struggle with Old Patterns

Posted on March 26, 2017 by jenny

I’ve been reading over my journal for 2016, trying to see if there’s any pattern to my life.  This was written in June.  It’s an example of how I work to understand something through writing. While I was at Barbara’s, … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Trauma | Comments Off on Struggle with Old Patterns

Full of Wounds and Still on my Feet

Posted on March 19, 2017 by jenny

This morning, whenever I stop writing, I’m in a place of emptiness.  I feel like I have absolutely nothing to write about.  I suppose I could see it as the creative void instead of being scared of it.  It’s basically … Continue reading →

Posted in Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Full of Wounds and Still on my Feet

Pictures of Little Jenny

Posted on March 4, 2017 by jenny

Wednesday, March 1 Tough morning.  Very hard to get up.  I’m feeling grief — but it’s more stuck grief — o god do I have to do this again?  I prayed for help but nothing came.  Yesterday’s session with Erica … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day, Story, Trauma | Comments Off on Pictures of Little Jenny

A Co-dependent Child

Posted on March 1, 2017 by jenny

The original title of this post was about my denial.  Fairly soon after I had saved the first draft, I realized that it wasn’t really denial.  Denial is when you are faced with evidence, but refuse to believe it.  The … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Story, Trauma | Comments Off on A Co-dependent Child

Resistance to Feeling My Pain

Posted on February 16, 2017 by jenny

Saturday, January 14 Woke up early feeling scared.  Not terror — this is ordinary scared.  In fact I’m starting to wonder if how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days isn’t how I used to feel all the time. … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Resistance to Feeling My Pain

Trying to Integrate the Past

Posted on February 16, 2017 by jenny

Thursday, January 5 Feeling a little cranky, angry? unhappy?  No, I think there’s anger there.  The old anger “I have worked so hard for so long…” I’m lost and confused.  I don’t understand what’s going on with me.  I’m not … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Trying to Integrate the Past

Step One: admitted that my life is unmanageable

Posted on February 8, 2017 by jenny

Written a month ago, but explains very well what I’m feeling now. Feeling a little wobbly and a little nauseous.  Gosh — I feel scattered and confused.  What does it need?  A container.  Can’t seem to focus or to collect … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Step One: admitted that my life is unmanageable

Utterly Defeated by Life

Posted on February 8, 2017 by jenny

I’m feeling utterly defeated by life.  It takes every scrap of will I have to get up and go through my morning routine.  I no longer do my stretches because I take the dog out during that time.  I’m pretty … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Utterly Defeated by Life