Category Archives: Present Day

Lifelong Fear

Posted on August 27, 2014 by jenny

I’ve been thinking that most of my life I’ve been scared that I’ll do something wrong and everyone will reject and leave me and scared that I’ll fail to do something I’m supposed to do and everyone will reject and … Continue reading →

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Depression & Apathy

Posted on August 25, 2014 by jenny

I was tired all day and I’m still tired but this morning I’m feeling bleak.  It would be depression except that I know intellectually that help is just around the corner. I want to think about the difference between apathy … Continue reading →

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Step One Again Again

Posted on August 23, 2014 by jenny

After the emotional blowout of Thursday, when I told Karen how the work on my car was going on and on and not getting done and cried and cried in her office for most of the session, I collapsed.  I … Continue reading →

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Box of Stories

Posted on August 21, 2014 by jenny

Once again I am feeling apathetic.  This is the third week of my therapist’s vacation, and I’m feeling a little like she doesn’t exist, and it’s very hard to get my energy up to do anything, or even to make … Continue reading →

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Healing with Art

Posted on August 17, 2014 by jenny

The Daily Good sends out a piece of positive news every day.  I don’t always read them right away.  Today I went back and started reading old ones that I had never looked at.  This one is from early January … Continue reading →

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A New Stage of Healing

Posted on July 22, 2014 by jenny

I started a new medication in May.  It’s one of a class of medications that are mood stabilizers.  I felt very odd after taking it for the first time, and the same sort of oddness each time I raised the … Continue reading →

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Faithful, not Successful

Posted on June 30, 2014 by jenny

Father Greg, in Tattoos on the Heart, quotes Mother Teresa: “We are not called to be successful, but faithful.” I thought about that a lot yesterday.  What am I called to be faithful to?  I think of my accepted task, … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Choices

Posted on June 29, 2014 by jenny

I felt better this morning once I got out of bed.  Lying in bed after I woke up was miserable.  I’m thinking that if God comes to us disguised as our life — for a moment I saw my miserable … Continue reading →

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Changing Medication

Posted on June 28, 2014 by jenny

Some friends were worried because I’ve been going up and down a lot, and sometimes badly depressed. So I called Bill Cote, and he said he would prescribe Lamotrigine, which is a mood stabilizer.  I decided it was worth a … Continue reading →

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Take a Big Step Back…

Posted on May 15, 2014 by jenny

My friend Elizabeth suggested that I needed to incorporate my positive side, instead of just the traumatized parts.  The idea was to get the sort of picture that allows me to see my whole self with compassion.  Many times, when … Continue reading →

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