August 29
Therapy session with Erica:
She tells me “It’s really OK to just be here with how it is, change happens all by itself, we don’t have to make it happen. Clarity arises out of giving permission to things to be as they are.”
I tell her that a part says it’s unhappy, experiences being lost, alone. It is so scary being alone. I’m aware of being connected with Erica on the phone. I tell the part it is not alone – connected to me and Erica.
This is a young part that’s accustomed to being left alone —experiences me as backing off. It’s not used to someone taking responsibility as an“adult.” When I do that, the part relaxes.
Part says it’s scary when it’s not connected to me. I tell it to stay with my breath, and I hum. Part feels somewhat connected, but because of its experience of being abandoned, it has good reason to not trust that I will be there.
Part says it feels me go away. I say and that’s scary for you. What do you notice when you feel me go away? Part says it feels a difference between when I’m alone and when I’m at meals with other people.
I tell the part that I feel different, too, when I’m with people and not alone. Being alone is a real issue for both of us.