(Written in May 2008)
Told Kevin I needed Somatic Experiencing work and he did a pretty good job. I talked about the feeling of being revved up that I’d had most of the weekend, & got reactivated by Kayla’s story of Jan getting stopped by the Border Patrol. So when I got to Kevin I was activated. I talked about what I was feeling, grabbed his fingers again for something solid to hang on to, talked about the family party and the babies and how the dads were involved and cried a lot. Finally we identified some inner infants — one who’s standing up and screaming “This is not OK,” and one who’s curled into a ball in the corner trying her best to disappear. He asked where the revved up feeling was — arms & shoulders, neck, and in front of my chest. He validated that that space in front of my chest is part of my body. I identified lots of tension in my neck & upper arms. Even allowing the scared & angry one to speak didn’t change the activation — what would help? A sudden vision of a protest march with banners & signs — I’m not alone! I’m not alone! Someone else cares enough to take action. Kevin asked where in my body did I not feel the activation. I was sitting cross legged on the table & felt my butt & thighs & that part of me felt soft & juicy & red & melting down onto the table. It felt so good I just stayed with it — yes, this is how a resource is supposed to work. Then my head & body wanted to fall forward, needed support, so we piled up the pillows again. This time it was a much more improvisational process. I’d keep looking up and talking and then putting my head down again and Kevin would insert pillows or folded cloth under my hands or elbows and I’d relax for a bit and then either feel some new discomfort, or have some bit of information bubble up to be expressed. Kevin talked about the importance of support — detailed, particular, accurate support — and it became really clear to me how little support I’ve experienced in my life.
Kevin Frank is an amazing body worker in Holderness, NH. See his website.