I usually type up my journal about one month later. It often gives me some perspective that I didn’t have when I wrote it. Recently I typed up this:
from October 14
The part of me that’s behind my inability to get that what I’m already doing — my inner work — is important, is a baby who needs food, and no one is coming, no one is acting, mother is taking care of herself and neglecting the emergency.
I have been going through a period of Election exhaustion and COVID exhaustion, but what I see here is the major trigger of the “leader” of a country whose people need food and medical assistance, but no one is coming, no one is acting, he (helped by his enablers) is taking care of himself and neglecting the emergency. And I, poor fool, get triggered into a state of “false urgency” — imagining that I have to do SOMETHING because the ones with the power are failing to take responsibility.