Somatic Experiencing

(Written in December 2009)
Drove down to Caryn in the snow.  I didn’t expect it to be so bad.  After all that work to get there it was a disappointing session.  Perhaps I was just too tired from the drive.  I cried a lot, enacted banging my head against the wall, pounded very slowly on a cushion in front of me, finally collapsed onto the floor, but nothing shifted.  I could find no desire or motivation for doing anything.  I did yawn and shake a little bit.  But it was discouraging.  I left feeling as bad as when I walked in and still faced a long drive in the snow.