Category Archives: Trauma

Struggle to Understand

Posted on July 22, 2016 by jenny

Little bits of the past come up, and it’s so painful.  I was remembering when Daddy dislocated his shoulder riding, and Granpappy’s palomino Rey del Oro and how I would call him “Ray Dell” in teenage fashion — or so … Continue reading →

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Who am I Really?

Posted on July 21, 2016 by jenny

Lots of people who know me through circle dance see me as enthusiastic, creative, competent, etc.  When I tell them how awful I feel about myself, they have trouble believing it.  This is painful for me, because it means that … Continue reading →

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Comfortable with Uncertainty

Posted on July 12, 2016 by jenny

In summary:  Terror faded on Monday as I talked to Dr. Dean about the physiology of trauma.  Tuesday morning began terrified but I was able to shake and could feel it releasing.  Wednesday morning began terrified, but then I brought … Continue reading →

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Week of Terror

Posted on July 11, 2016 by jenny

I’ve just been through a week of terror.  Lots of possible triggers.  I haven’t had this bad a bout of terror for many years. Tuesday, June 28 I’m feeling terrified.  I was reading Deborah Crombie and felt scared while I … Continue reading →

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Writers for Recovery

Posted on July 2, 2016 by jenny

I went to the second night of a ten-week workshop, called Writers for Recovery.  It had been put together by Bess O’Brien, who produced Journey Into Courage, and grew out of the documentary on addiction, The Hungry Heart, that she was … Continue reading →

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Trusting the Process

Posted on June 4, 2016 by jenny

My talk with my therapist was painful and difficult but I think it helped.  I made a lot of notes.  I see that my image/expectation of a healing process is that you get steadily better.  You’d think I’d know better … Continue reading →

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Did I Win or Lose?

Posted on May 29, 2016 by jenny

I was rereading a little of Francis Weller, and he talks about self-hate and self-compassion.  I checked in with myself and found that I don’t hate myself at all right now — but I think actually the self-hate is gone forever.  … Continue reading →

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“Continuing the Journey”

Posted on May 26, 2016 by jenny

“Continuing the Journey” of Journey Into Courage.  This program was put together by Tracy Penfield of SafeArt in Chelsea.  It was presented on May 6, 2016.  Bess O’Brien spoke, short sections of the video were shown, and three other women … Continue reading →

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Grief and Praise

Posted on May 23, 2016 by jenny

I have been listening to a talk by Martin Prechtel, a shaman from South America.  He talks about how grief for something comes because it meant a lot to you, so grief is a form of praise or of gratitude.  … Continue reading →

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Step Four: Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory

Posted on May 7, 2016 by jenny

I wanted to write about my “character defects.”  When we did the confession in Church I thought I could own some things.  I think about hardening my heart or closing my heart against God.  But I have good reason to … Continue reading →

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