(Written in January 1992)
Candle. 30 minutes.
Just write. Begin from what’s in front of you. What’s in front of me? My desk. On top a blue recipe box with cards of people’s addresses, a beautiful thin porcelain bowl with odd bits of wood, amusing hand made tree ornaments, a little plastic bird with real feathers, calendar and clock. There is a carved design on the back of the top. It’s an old desk, I think it was my great grandmother’s. I write on the front that lets down, it has a piece of blue leather set into it. I face a variety of pigeon holes and two small drawers. When I was a child I turned the pigeon holes into cave dwellings for my little china animals. Now they contain envelopes, photographs, bank statements, paper clips, etc. There’s a plastic container of gold stars, a box of staples, a box of slides, a package of cards with a large heart made of flowers on the front. There are some spiral bound notebooks in the tall pigeonholes: one has the geomancy writings and the other the beginnings of “how I became a shaman” — two projects I haven’t gone on with.
On the writing surface is an astonishing variety of odd items. A large double ended crystal sitting on a piece of gold foil. A small brown embroidered chinese pouch and the topaz crystal that I use as a pendulum — holding it by the price tag that I never bothered to remove. The lit candle: a cheap white one in a cheap glass star-shaped holder. A book of matches, odd pens & pencil, ink cartridges. Small bits of waxed paper containing tiny colored stars. A small card, written on in block print:
COMPLEMENTS OF “THE PIG WOMEN”
HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS
THE PIG DID THE MILK.
I found it in one of my Elizabeth Goudge novels, bought used, and I love it for the picture it conjures up: some farm wife sending extra or spoiled milk to the pig women, they return a cake or garden produce or even some bacon with the card, then the farm wife uses it to mark her place in Elizabeth Goudge. I love the sense of neighbors sharing, the short distance between the pig and Elizabeth Goudge, the feeling that she would have enjoyed it too — pigs and neighborliness being as much a part of her writing as spiritual effort and understanding.
Seven little bottles with droppers! One unlabeled, half full. Bottles of extracts: yellow dock, chickweed, usnea and senecio aureus. One of amethyst crystal essence, an empty tiny bottle of Rescue Remedy. There’s a pink ribbon, a salt cellar (because I eat so many meals at my desk) a tube of hand cream, an empty tea mug. There’s a small porcelain cup made by Dana and filled with angel cards. There’s also a small pyrex dish for vitamins and a potholder, both need to go back to the kitchen. What an amazing collection of objects! Fortunately most of them are small or there wouldn’t be room for my journal! Time!
(What an amazing exercise. It’s brought me back to a sense of affection and humor for myself and my life. What a funny absurd magical woman who keeps all that stuff on her desk.)