Category Archives: Journal

1995: Struggling with Health, Noise, Confusion

From my journal for September 11, 1995 I want to write about my odd feeling yesterday and today.  I’m sure it’s at least partly the cold that makes me feel thick-headed and dazed, partly Dana being away that makes me … Continue reading →

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1996: Description of Trauma before I Understood that I had been Traumatized

From my journal for March 1996.  Eleanor is my friend who was badly abused in her family of origin. She was herself dealing with PTSD, and kept trying to convince me that I was too. At that time, I thought … Continue reading →

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1996: Realize that I HAVE made a Contribution

From my journal for January 28, 1996 It’s possible that my life will make some sort of contribution to the world.  By participating in circle dance — keeping that going — by building Neskaya to support activities which would be … Continue reading →

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1996: Dull Misery

These journal entries were written in March 1996 [I had a gush of pain while Dr. Tatone, chiropractor, worked on me] It was a little disappointing, because I had felt so well this morning, felt like a human being for … Continue reading →

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1996: Go Back and Re-do “Life 101”

These journal entries are immediately after the Paxil episode. I find the experiences I describe quite extraordinary. I have been reading a book called The Journey of Soul Initiation by Bill Plotkin. His understanding of how the world works and … Continue reading →

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Experience of Taking Paxil

Back in March I posted part of my journal from February 1996 that describes seeing Dr. Brunette to ask about anti-depressant medication. She prescribed Paxil, since I felt very untrusting of Prozac. I had a terrible experience.  The notes I … Continue reading →

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One Wild and Precious Life

First posted in August 2010: I was thinking about the line from Mary Oliver: “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?” and how it always makes me feel bad, like I have wasted mine.  Well, have … Continue reading →

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1996: How Do I Keep Going?

These journal entries from 1996 are part of my long ongoing struggle against depression. At this time I was still married to Dana. February 13 Helpful talk with Dana this afternoon.  I was feeling so bad I just needed to … Continue reading →

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1995: Positive Feedback

I did the first draft of this back in October 2023.  Never finished it. Looking again at it, I see that it fits with my previous post about Vocation.  How amazing! From my journal for November 23, 1995 I wake … Continue reading →

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Amazing Conclusion from Horrendous Experience

I’ve just been rereading a blog post containing a long passage from 1996. It comes from the journal volumes that I wrote but stopped typing in 1995, because I realized that the book I was putting together from journal entries, … Continue reading →

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