Guidance

I don’t know when I stopped asking my Guides and Guardian Spirits for guidance.  I didn’t stop consciously for some reason, I just stopped and only realized it when a lot of time had gone by.  Recently I was with friends, and I started to feel this “buzz” inside.  A good word for it is “activation,” a jolt of adrenaline.  I couldn’t feel it as fear, or anger, or excitement, but I was finding it uncomfortable.  So I softened around it, and then relaxed around the softening, but it didn’t change.  That always makes me feel like I’m doing it wrong.  So I asked for help.  Divine Process started answering before I had even formulated my question

Tuesday
Divine Process, I really need your help.  I don’t know what this buzz is inside         — the buzz is all the fear of people who will lose their health insurance, and the ones who are afraid of being deported, and all the people who are scared in these dark times.  Softening around it is the exact right thing to do.  Finding compassion for all those scared people is the right thing to do.  You are doing fine just the way you are.
Thank You.

It did help to know what the buzz was about.  I can hold a frightened child, or a whole crowd of scared people, but I can’t seem to hold the fear if I see it as my own.  In this case, the fear didn’t go away, but I was able to hold it with compassion.

Thursday
Divine Process, please help me.  I remind myself that I did do the Vitacost order, I did call John about the plowing, I did pay a bill and look up my balance online.  (good for me!)  I think there’s limit to how many hard things I can do in a day.

Divine Process, please help me.    I am with you all the time, even though you can’t feel my presence.  I love you very much and I feel your pain.  You are doing very well with this extremely hard task.  You are actually healing a very deep and wounded part of yourself.  You are with her as I am with you.  I know you are scared and angry that you are not “getting anywhere.”  It’s not about “getting” somewhere, it’s about being present.  Being present to extreme pain — and the pain that baby feels is intolerable, that’s why she was traumatized — is very difficult.  You are doing well with it.  Keep on as you have begun.  Remember that you are loved and cherished infinitely and forever.
Thank You.

Music in my head right now is American Prayer — “and this is the ground that keeps our feet from getting wet…”  I need grounding.  I need something under me that I can stand on.  The “floor” that I once found in Somatic Experiencing doesn’t seem to be there now.

Again I asked for help, and the first answer just came into my mind.  The second answer was the voice of Divine Process.  The third answer was in the song, a message from my subconscious.  I’ve begun to see songs as synchronicities, as “postcards from God.”

Friday
O Divine Process please guide me through this day.  Thank You, Divine Process that I woke up OK.  I was able to lie in bed for 30 minutes, praying to Divine Process, asking for loving kindness, mind drifting off but not upset about it, listening to the Silence.

Saturday
Divine Process, I feeling sad and scared and pretty bummed out.  I need help.
Dear Jenny, the world is much bigger than the Trump idiocy.  The planet will survive, you know that.  Your love for the planet helps even when you can’t do anything more.  Positive energy is real, complex self-organization is real, many dimensions and beings that inhabit them are real.  The planet you love is protected by many non-corporeal beings.  You are doing your part in the effort to heal the planet and create a real democracy, that works for all the people.  There are many many others who have picked up the challenge and become active.  You do not need to do more than you are already doing.  Remember you are loved and cherished totally, there is nothing you can do wrong, and there is nothing to fear.
Thank You.

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