This came in the Daily Good for September 17. It’s from the website of John Welwood. The whole thing is worth reading. It explains what happened when I saw that I was failing to recognize how badly triggered I was and let myself feel it. The relief of being real, even when being real is painful in some ways.
The journey from self-hatred to self-love involves learning to meet, accept, and open to the being that you are. This begins with letting yourself have your experience. Genuine self-acceptance is not possible as long as you are resisting, avoiding, judging, or trying to manipulate and control what you experience. Whenever you judge the experience you’re having, you’re not letting yourself be as you are. And this puts you at odds with yourself, creating inner division and conflict. The way to free yourself from shame and self-blame is through making friends with your experience, no matter what experience you’re having.