Which means more logical and rational than the previous one.
The fall happened in my house. Paying attention to the fragments I was juggling, I failed to see my feet and tripped over the lintel. I hit my chin and my left hand. The fragments were the pieces I was making for the Grandmother ceremony. Working on their placement gave me a sense of integrating the pieces of my life. Lynelle came immediately and helped me with arnica and Traumeel. She also told me that when this sort of thing happened to her, it meant that there was some deep part of her that was not happy. I couldn’t imagine why a part of me would be unhappy with integration, a process toward health. It came to me that that piece might have been afraid she wouldn’t be accepted by the others, and later that she feared they would try to make her conform. I had resisted the pressure of the part of me that wanted me to conform to the traditional way of doing the patches. I had an image of the safe conventional things I made because that was what my mother wanted, and then an image of the outrageous things I made when I was free to do it my own way.
It is absolutely wonderful to suddenly see myself as a very creative person. I think I thought that I wasn’t creative because I had nothing lasting to show. But I’ve had a tremendous outpouring of different things that only last for a while. And of course, Neskaya is something lasting. Sometimes I imagine that the concrete roof will still be there when all the other buildings have fallen down and decayed.