Eight Learnings

Written on Saturday, January 2, 2016

I had a number of learnings, things I suddenly saw were true, late in 2015.  I decided to write them all down.  I planned to take one every day and think about it.  And I did it for a few days, but then somehow, without intending to, I stopped doing it.  In spite of wanting to find/design a daily spiritual practice, this happened over and over until a couple of weeks ago.

1) Depression is a big deal, I have courage, strength and persistence to have managed any sort of life at all.

2) I’ve started to take in the positive feedback Erica gives.

3) I am big enough to make a loving container for the broken parts.

4) My depression is NOT MY FAULT.

5) My depression is not a sin or a moral weakness.

6) Even while depressed, knowing it won’t last forever.

7) Realized that my emotions (“empty sophistication”) are not who I am.  How I feel emotionally is not the truth of who I am.

8) Realized that I’m not either the “creative one” or the “broken one” — although my experience of one tends to make the other disappear.  But I am both at once.

I knew these intellectually, was quite sure of their truth, but they didn’t operate in my life at all.

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