Written on January 14
I feel like a tiny useless lump. I desperately need refuge. I want to curl up and hide and I want some very loving being to put her arms around me and say “there there.”
I look out my window and see bright sun on snow with blue shadows, and it feels so cold and scary. I wish I knew what this is, this place I am. I so badly want someone else to come and rescue me, but I don’t see any way that could happen. If I could just step back from myself and see this person who is suffering and feel compassion for her.
[The pieces from Francis Weller that I posted on February 12 describe this state exactly and comforted me greatly.]