Guidance

(Written in February 2003)
Dear Guides, can you help me out?
Dear Jenny, we are so proud of you.  You did a splendid job of working with the pain on Sunday — you were courageous enough to face an enormous pain and learn what it had to teach you.  Not many people are able to use this kind of opportunity.  Your whole relationship to depression and terror has changed.  Instead of rushing to get away from these painful states, you are willing to go toward them with compassion.  Like the way you always met your mother’s misery with compassion.  Unfortunately, she could not see those times as opportunities for change, she wanted to hide and deny her vulnerability in order to keep “looking good.” You on the other hand have always been willing to face any amount of pain if it brought you to the truth.  For you, truth always had a higher value than your own comfort.  This time you faced the core of your pain directly, its source in the anger and merciless judgement of yourself for not living up to ideals that you could see, but had no foundation or guidance for actually living out.  To make this big a change from your earlier conditioning is a huge piece of work and we congratulate you.  Furthermore, your work on yourself has enormous ramifications and ripple effects on this planet.  As you work to bring compassion and mercy to your hatred and anger, you are making compassion and mercy more possible for everyone struggling with hatred and anger.  The direction the hatred and anger are aimed is immaterial.  Those who struggle with hatred for a traditional enemy find it no harder to transform their hatred than you who struggle with hatred for yourself.