(Written in February 2010)
\nI\u2019ve been having this odd thought \u2014 it comes from some of the passages I\u2019ve written describing myself as a wonderful person: \u201clovely, loving, creative, generous…\u201d I\u2019d be ashamed to read those passages to someone \u2014 they seem like the most horrible form of \u201cbragging\u201d, of \u201cthinking I\u2019m so great.\u201d But they were written out of an honest and compelling experience\/realization. And intellectually I can see that from some perspective they are true. I hold that version of me next to how I\u2019m feeling now: tired, depressed, struggling, and I can\u2019t make them fit.
\nIt was good to talk to Elizabeth. I read her quite a lot from Resource \u2014 she said she enjoyed it. I read her the piece describing me as \u201clovely, loving, creative, generous…\u201d and asked if that sounded like me. She said \u201cYes… but it\u2019s not all of you.\u201d That really shifted something. Of course. I\u2019m not just that, I\u2019m all the others too: the Astronomy teacher, the tough little drip, the wounded ones. The \u201cradiant one\u201d is perhaps my soul, I serve her, and I sometimes get to embody her, but the wounded ones are also parts of me, parts that I serve by working on healing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in February 2010) I\u2019ve been having this odd thought \u2014 it comes from some of the passages I\u2019ve written describing myself as a wonderful person: \u201clovely, loving, creative, generous…\u201d I\u2019d be ashamed to read those passages to someone \u2014 … Continue reading