I’m finally feeling more together and coherent. \u00a0I had moved to the health center because my trauma had been triggered, and I had pretty completely fallen apart. \u00a0The notebook about that is still in my apartment, so I don’t have it and I’m not even sure what date I moved. My best guess for why I fell apart is that I was alone too much. \u00a0Here I leave my door open and can hear people talking and walking back and forth. I eat all my meals at a table with other people.<\/p>\n
This was written on November 9:<\/p>\n
I want to write about what a hard time I’m having, but it’s difficult to find the words. Maybe that’s part of the problem, that for some reason I’m forgetting a lot of words. \u00a0I feel like my brain\/mind is only functioning at 50% capacity. \u00a0Practical things that I have to do, like get things I need from my old apartment, make decisions about what to hold on to and what to let go of, and then make decisions about what to do with things I let go of. \u00a0I feel overwhelmed and scared. \u00a0 How can I possibly do it all? \u00a0I’ve tried to find books to read, but they have been disappointing so I go back to old favorites like Pilgrim’s Inn, a book by Elizabeth Goudge, that I’ve read many times.<\/p>\n
I’ve stopped typing my journal, and I’m writing only short notes that might be important like what meds I’ve taken, and whether or not I have shit. \u00a0The issue of shitting is a big one and has been going on for a long time. \u00a0I don’t shit every day, and I haven’t shit any large amounts in a long time. \u00a0So is it all piling up in my intestines??? \u00a0The medical people haven’t been helpful at all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’m finally feeling more together and coherent. \u00a0I had moved to the health center because my trauma had been triggered, and I had pretty completely fallen apart. \u00a0The notebook about that is still in my apartment, so I don’t have … Continue reading