(Written in January 2009)
\n\tDriving over to Montpelier I had a wave of discouragement: \u201cWhy am I doing this? What\u2019s the point?\u201d and I started to brush it aside, and then I thought it was worth looking at seriously. I go on because I believe that my life has meaning, that there\u2019s something I came here to do, and I want to be in touch with it. I want to live my life from that place, not from the depressed place. I don\u2019t believe that what I feel right now about myself and my life is true, that my life is meaningless, that I am worthless.<\/p>\n
I have a life that is true, meaningful and worthwhile
\nI am not in touch with that life right now
\nI don\u2019t know what to do to get back in touch with it.
\nI am willing to let go of the things that aren\u2019t working
\nI am open to trying new things
\nI ask for help from all the beings who are willing to help me.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\tI think I must be exhausted from a lot of bad nights and possibly struggling with the fear\/nausea. Certainly yesterday was much easier – saw Karen, came back and did Nia at about 30% \u2014 it felt fine.
\n\tKaren talked about giving myself time & space to recover from what has been a very bad time. So instead of seeing my puzzle, solitaire, reading etc as a \u201cuseless\u201d holding action, I can see it as a convalescence, allowing healing, renewing, recovering to happen on the deep invisible levels. Trying to move forward will have to wait until I\u2019m feeling much more solid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"(Written in January 2009) Driving over to Montpelier I had a wave of discouragement: \u201cWhy am I doing this? What\u2019s the point?\u201d and I started to brush it aside, and then I thought it was worth looking at seriously. I … Continue reading