From my journal for\u00a0September 12, 1997<\/p>\n
Dream fragment: something about how I got out of depression by praising myself.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOut of depression and into an energy high!\u201d !!<\/p>\n
It seems to be working again.\u00a0 <\/span>This time I\u2019m more conscious and persistent about it.\u00a0 <\/span>I know I need to build it into my life as a habit, not just use it until \u201cI\u2019m OK now\u201d and then drop it.\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know why I think that once I\u2019m OK I\u2019m going to stay that way without further effort.<\/p>\n
Yesterday was another good day.\u00a0 <\/span>I worked at cleaning my altar triangle, waxed the chest, put new candles in the big candlesticks, restored Kuan Yin and the oil lamp to their places.\u00a0 <\/span>I see that if I\u2019m patient about these tasks, and take my time with them, I actually enjoy them.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s the rush to get finished, to be \u201cefficient\u201d that spoils the fun.<\/p>\n
I think I\u2019m finally beginning to understand what DMA meant about receiving the results that you\u2019re created.\u00a0 <\/span>I think I\u2019m finally beginning to be able to do that, and especially learning to praise myself for partial results, steps on the way to a larger goal.\u00a0 <\/span>This is the bigger picture resulting from Dr. Rankin\u2019s observation that cured the airplane phobia<\/a>.\u00a0 <\/span>So amazing.\u00a0 <\/span>So maybe I\u2019ve changed something important about the structure of my life. and it has another layer \u2014 I\u2019m able to acknowledge and receive my ability to acknowledge and receive \u2014 just as I give thanks not only for the beautiful landscape I enjoy but also for the ability to enjoy it.<\/p>\n
Yesterday, noticing my willingness to move slowly and patiently toward putting my altar back together, I see that this is what I\u2019ve been wanting all along, to putter around the house, and to be able to enjoy it, which is something new.\u00a0 <\/span>So this is new, a great gift, a great grace for which I thank god.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I notice that I don’t give being on an anti-depressant any credit for feeling so much better. \u00a0My new ability to “enjoy” is at least partly because of the medication. Depressive brain chemistry makes it impossible to enjoy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
From my journal for\u00a0September 12, 1997 Dream fragment: something about how I got out of depression by praising myself.\u00a0 \u201cOut of depression and into an energy high!\u201d !! It seems to be working again.\u00a0 This time I\u2019m more conscious and … Continue reading