From my journal for\u00a0May 28, 1996. \u00a0I had a dream of a crippled artist who has only one leg.<\/p>\n
So what can I say about the crippled artist part of myself? She\u2019s vivacious, attractive (I seem to remember dark eyes, curly dark hair, a sort of French demeanor) and talented.\u00a0She\u2019s not able to move very well but she can express herself elegantly.\u00a0She can tolerate being pushed around, she doesn\u2019t want to be treated as a cripple, she wants to be acknowledged for what she\u2019s able to do, not pitied for what she can\u2019t do.\u00a0My conscious attitude toward her is one of condescension and protectiveness.\u00a0In this dream she\u2019s letting me know she doesn\u2019t want that, she wants a relationship of equals.<\/p>\n
I hear her voice saying \u201cI don\u2019t need to be protected.\u00a0I need to be given space and materials in which to express myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
I think about my need to be protected from the airplanes<\/a>.\u00a0Yesterday I used the walkman very effectively \u2014 when I went out with the dog there were several planes \u2014 I didn\u2019t wait for it to get bad, I just started the tape immediately.\u00a0Perhaps it\u2019s this matter-of-fact attitude toward my disability that the cripple is looking for.\u00a0Certainly it seemed to work \u2014 no hopelessness, no self-pity \u2014 just getting on with what I was doing.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
She says she doesn’t need to be protected, I say I do need to be protected. I wonder what the issue of protection has to do with my early trauma \u2014 which I don’t know about yet \u2014 or my difficulty being creative.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
From my journal for\u00a0May 28, 1996. \u00a0I had a dream of a crippled artist who has only one leg. So what can I say about the crippled artist part of myself? She\u2019s vivacious, attractive (I seem to remember dark eyes, … Continue reading