{"id":8144,"date":"2023-12-11T10:39:38","date_gmt":"2023-12-11T15:39:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=8144"},"modified":"2024-01-01T14:27:44","modified_gmt":"2024-01-01T19:27:44","slug":"complexity-dealing-with-a-number-of-parts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=8144","title":{"rendered":"Complexity: Dealing with a Number of Parts"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been going over my journal since before Thanksgiving, trying to make sense of the journey I’ve been on. As I read over it, I see a number of possible parts<\/a> that I might be blended with. This is complicated by the fact that I’m an empath<\/a>, but don’t know it, so I think whatever I’m feeling is mine<\/em>. It never occurs to me that I might be picking up from someone else. I suspect that when as a child, I tuned in to someone and told my mother, she told me that was nonsense.<\/p>\n

I think that a number of parts are operating, including the “protector parts” that dissociate. This makes it very hard to see what’s going on.<\/p>\n

In September I posted “Yet Another Young Part<\/a>.” It was about my reaction to my dog getting a buzz cut and not looking like herself. I have wondered if this wasn’t the beginning of my difficulties. I see that I never actually tried to unblend and connect with the part. Reading the journal entry again, I see that it just as well gives a description of \u00a0feeling like a child being expected to do grown-up things.<\/p>\n

Then is my description of the baby who’s angry at me for hurting her<\/a>. From my journal for November 22. I talk about a memory of hurting myself, but there was an earlier event that happened in a therapy session in 1992. \u00a0I was doing a gestalt exercise of talking to a pillow which represented the baby. But I threw the pillow away shouting “It’s not OK to be a baby<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

The Traumatized Baby \u2014I think that baby became the baby on a garbage can<\/a> that I rescued sometime in January 2006.<\/p>\n

It was December 5 when I realized that I had been triggered into a young part “who’s expected to do adult things, even though she hasn’t been taught or supported.” What came back was one time when I had been left alone to take care of younger siblings<\/a>, I think it was in 1994 that Mama Greene told us about it. \u00a0I have no memory of it, I must have dissociated.<\/p>\n

The “Colonial Dames Incident<\/a>.” This was a time when Mother wounded me badly, and I wrote about it in my journal afterward. The next day I read what I had written, and couldn’t remember it. I asked my sister, and she said it did happen. Then I understood that I had been dissociating all the painful things Mother said to me, so they were always a surprise. But now that I remembered, I decided I would not give her a target. I would not tell her anything about my life. Mother’s response was “I’m so cheerful she can’t be in a bad mood<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

Mother was always saying “Don’t be so sensitive<\/a>,” as though I had a choice. I tried, but it didn’t work. I finally did get some help along the way, as you will see in the blog post.<\/p>\n

Reading this over today, I find it very confusing. I hope that it’s because I am still blended with parts who are confused, and that you will be able to make sense of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been going over my journal since before Thanksgiving, trying to make sense of the journey I’ve been on. As I read over it, I see a number of possible parts that I might be blended with. This is complicated … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9,4,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-journal","category-trauma","category-work-with-parts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8144"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8144\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}