{"id":8107,"date":"2023-11-24T17:27:41","date_gmt":"2023-11-24T22:27:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=8107"},"modified":"2023-11-24T17:27:41","modified_gmt":"2023-11-24T22:27:41","slug":"trying-to-connect-with-traumatized-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=8107","title":{"rendered":"Trying to Connect with Traumatized Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"

Read Erica what I had written<\/a>. \u00a0She thought it was powerful. \u00a0We talked about the flavor of the writing.<\/p>\n

Notes from the session with my therapist on November 21:<\/p>\n

What I wrote was written from a \u201cneutral\/wisdom stance,\u201d\u00a0not from a trauma place,\u00a0not neutral but beyond shock. I was\u00a0not welcomed, but not pushed away, I was not seen at all. The\u00a0neutrality of negation.<\/p>\n

Erica asked \u201cWhat of this is yours?\u201d \u00a0What happened here? \u2014 Is this mine?Who else\u2019s pain is here?<\/p>\n

The pain is not in the writing, though I feel the pain when I read the writing.\u00a0The landscape is a ghost town.\u00a0It\u2019s not discernible what happened here, speaks to the vacuousness.\u00a0There\u2019s nothing here to nourish the witness, there\u2019s a hollowness.<\/p>\n

The environment is missing nourishment & relationship, it is beyond despair, even despair isn\u2019t big enough. Coming in touch with that level of despair.<\/p>\n

Erica says\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re deepening the journey you\u2019ve been on.\u201d\u00a0I\u2019m bringing language to the profound desolation of the baby.\u00a0Putting into language feelings that the baby could never have expressed.\u00a0The pauses, the spaces, neutrality can feel like compassion.\u00a0This is the non-judging witness.<\/p>\n

The baby has never been mirrored, so she can’t know herself. The sadness, the spaces, the neutrality give the baby space to feel herself.<\/p>\n

The challenge of recovery from trauma \u2014\u00a0People crowd the one who needs healing by rushing, not giving them room. The result of trauma is a bunch of disconnected parts. They need to integrate, need to be given a holding environment, a space that’s not invaded.<\/p>\n

Is there more that the baby needs to communicate?<\/p>\n

Then I need to respond.\u00a0W<\/span>hat does this young energy want or need? What would attunement look like?\u00a0How can I show you I am here for you?<\/p>\n

The baby needs to know what\u2019s possible. What does connection look like? What happened here?<\/p>\n

Ask inner teacher for help.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Thinking about the Feminine of History<\/a> and the passages that wrote themselves about being held by the circle<\/a> and \u201cwe are one, we are home at last.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m imagining carrying Baby Jenny in a sling on my front, so I can put my arms around her when I don\u2019t need them for something else.<\/p>\n

Notes from my journal for November 22:<\/p>\n

Dear Inner Teacher, can you tell me about anything that would help my relationship with the traumatized baby or help me understand what to do for her?<\/p>\n

Dear Jenny, holding her and reassuring her is exactly right.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHeld, not healed.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Holding her in your love and caring is what is most important.\u00a0 <\/span>She must allow her own healing to happen.\u00a0 <\/span>Yes, just as in your book the fragments have to self-organize into a whole person.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“Held, not healed” is from Matt Licata<\/a>.<\/p>\n

J: What can I do then, to help the process take place?<\/p>\n

I.T.: Collage would be excellent, as it\u2019s fragments coming together.\u00a0 <\/span>I know this is hard for you.\u00a0 <\/span>You can also draw fragments, and color them or label them.\u00a0 <\/span>Movement would be good too.<\/p>\n

J: I feel very doubtful of my ability.\u00a0 <\/span>But it doesn\u2019t have to be beautiful.\u00a0 <\/span>I can at least make a start.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Even Gaza and Israel are fragments looking to be healed.\u00a0 <\/span>This work can happen on many levels.<\/p>\n

Later, I checked with Baby Jenny, and she was angry at me for being mean to her.\u00a0 <\/span>I apologized profusely, told her I was not angry at her<\/span>, but at myself, usually for not getting it right, and I can understand how Baby Jenny thought it was her.\u00a0 <\/span>I remember hitting myself to stop myself from crying.\u00a0 <\/span>I expect Mother hit Baby Jenny to stop her from crying.\u00a0 <\/span>Of course Baby Jenny couldn\u2019t tell the difference between me and Mother.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Read Erica what I had written. \u00a0She thought it was powerful. \u00a0We talked about the flavor of the writing. Notes from the session with my therapist on November 21: What I wrote was written from a \u201cneutral\/wisdom stance,\u201d\u00a0not from a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,11,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-present-day","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8107\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}