(Written in May 2008)
\n\tTold Kevin I needed Somatic Experiencing work and he did a pretty good job. I talked about the feeling of being revved up that I\u2019d had most of the weekend, & got reactivated by Kayla\u2019s story of Jan getting stopped by the Border Patrol. So when I got to Kevin I was activated. I talked about what I was feeling, grabbed his fingers again for something solid to hang on to, talked about the family party and the babies and how the dads were involved and cried a lot. Finally we identified some inner infants \u2014 one who\u2019s standing up and screaming \u201cThis is not OK,\u201d and one who\u2019s curled into a ball in the corner trying her best to disappear. He asked where the revved up feeling was \u2014 arms & shoulders, neck, and in front of my chest. He validated that that space in front of my chest is part of my body. I identified lots of tension in my neck & upper arms. Even allowing the scared & angry one to speak didn\u2019t change the activation \u2014 what would help? A sudden vision of a protest march with banners & signs \u2014 I\u2019m not alone! I\u2019m not alone! Someone else cares enough to take action. Kevin asked where in my body did I not feel the activation. I was sitting cross legged on the table & felt my butt & thighs & that part of me felt soft & juicy & red & melting down onto the table. It felt so good I just stayed with it \u2014 yes, this is how a resource is supposed to work. Then my head & body wanted to fall forward, needed support, so we piled up the pillows again. This time it was a much more improvisational process. I\u2019d keep looking up and talking and then putting my head down again and Kevin would insert pillows or folded cloth under my hands or elbows and I\u2019d relax for a bit and then either feel some new discomfort, or have some bit of information bubble up to be expressed. Kevin talked about the importance of support \u2014 detailed, particular, accurate support \u2014 and it became really clear to me how little support I\u2019ve experienced in my life.<\/p>\n