{"id":7451,"date":"2022-09-02T15:36:53","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T19:36:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=7451"},"modified":"2022-09-08T14:33:31","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T18:33:31","slug":"thy-will-be-done","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=7451","title":{"rendered":"“Thy will be done”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sunday, August 28 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0While walking Mocha I realized that I am really helpless to change the low thyroid.\u00a0 <\/span>So I was able to say \u201cThy will be done,\u201d and really let go.\u00a0 “<\/span>I can\u2019t do this so if you want it to happen, you have to help me.”<\/p>\n

Wednesday, August 31 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Had dinner with a friend who’s been spending a lot of time dealing with a scam.\u00a0<\/span>Talking with her did not cheer me up for once.\u00a0 <\/span>I realize I\u2019m holding on to three things: The relief of \u201cThy will be done\u201d and a sense of a being I hand things over to, the solid foundation that\u2019s there deep down below everything, and the story of the man who saw something wonderful as he was dying.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The “solid foundation” was something that I discovered in Faithfulness Group on August 14. \u00a0I said I was feeling like there was only the “capricious malicious, willful” god based on my alcoholic parents. \u00a0Katie asked if I could feel the presence of Spirits and I said Yes, completely surprised by my answer. \u00a0I experienced spirit as a “foundation,” as a solid, flat floor underneath me. \u00a0The way I know that is the same way I recognized the “Goodness beyond Goodness<\/a>.” \u00a0It’s a deeper knowing, not intellectual, but doesn’t have any felt sense. \u00a0I wonder if I can trust it and realize that yes, I can. \u00a0That sense of Spirit as a foundation reminded me of the “floor” that caught my pieces<\/a> when I fell apart after I had started Somatic Experiencing.<\/p>\n

The man who was dying was Dedan Gills. \u00a0His story is in Oneing\/Unveiled<\/a>. \u00a0His wife, Belvie Rooks, says “As you took your last breath, you looked past us with an ecstatic smile and a look of awe and wonder. Our eyes followed your gaze and we half expected to see someone or something since your smile had been so joyful! When we turned back, you were gone.”<\/p>\n

It\u2019s funny.\u00a0 <\/span>When I imagine O Holy Night in French, I hear it in my mother\u2019s voice, her \u201csoap opera\u201d voice, and it used to annoy me.\u00a0 <\/span>Now I think \u201cPoor old Mom.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>I guess I\u2019ve finally forgiven her, and my ex-husband as well.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe it\u2019s the big letting go of handing it all over to God\/Higher Self\/Universe.<\/p>\n

Thursday, September 1 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0I started reading Atul Gawande, Being Mortal<\/a>.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s painful, but I really do want to look at the truth.\u00a0 <\/span>Which is that I am going to keep losing ground until some major system fails.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m never going to \u201chave a life.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>At least I can understand that Journey Into Courage and Neskaya were two worthy gifts I gave the world.\u00a0 <\/span>(I see God in a sheet<\/a> saying \u201cwhatever you have done or not done, Welcome!\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>God doesn\u2019t need me to prove I deserve to live.)<\/p>\n

Saying \u201cThy will be done\u201d reminds me of doing a prostration in Buddhism.\u00a0 <\/span>How I didn\u2019t like it at first, not feeling that there was anything to worship, and then realizing the relief of letting go \u2014 of what? of the burden of the ego?\u00a0 <\/span>Walking Mocha this morning I realized that the Goodness beyond Goodness and the Foundation under everything are the same thing.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sunday, August 28 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0While walking Mocha I realized that I am really helpless to change the low thyroid.\u00a0 So I was able to say \u201cThy will be done,\u201d and really let go.\u00a0 “I can\u2019t do this so if you … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7451","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-journal","category-present-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7451","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7451"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7451\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}