from my journal for Saturday, July 16<\/p>\n
I wake up early.\u00a0 <\/span>I feel miserable.\u00a0 <\/span>I lie there only wanting to go back to sleep, but I can\u2019t.\u00a0 <\/span>I take the Thyroxin, bring a glass of water, make a cup of tea.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The misery is both emotional and physical. \u00a0Thyroxin is a drug to stimulate the thyroid. I’ve just started taking it.<\/p>\n
3rd cup. coffee. \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Walking Mocha I worked on reciting my prayer, and trying to see\/feel the components \u2014 participatory: Mocha, me, grass, trees \u2014 in the world around us.\u00a0 <\/span>I see this as the expression of my love for creation, even though I don\u2019t have any good feelings.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNot some nice thing that you feel but some hard thing that you do<\/a>.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>It is<\/span> hard work, and I do it because I love creation.\u00a0Walking home I hear a cardinal, positive message from the Universe.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The latest version of my prayer\/vision: \u00a0\u201cI choose to trust that the wider, more inclusive, participatory, sacred cosmos is alive and intelligent, and works with us, teaching us to value diversity and helping us self-organize into a higher order being.\u201d \u00a0I’ve noticed that it keeps changing, I’m not getting stuck.<\/p>\n
Finishing my coffee, I found All Shall Be Well<\/a> on YouTube, starting a set of pieces \u201cmixed for you.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Then I went and did puzzles while the music was playing.\u00a0 <\/span>They went on to do the lost words blessing<\/a>, then Windward Away<\/a> and a lot more Julie Fowlis.\u00a0 <\/span>They did Kate Wolf singing the Times we\u2019re Living in<\/a>.\u00a0 <\/span>The last one I listened to was the Ballad of Anne Frank<\/a>.\u00a0 <\/span>I had lots of feelings, mostly sad, some sentimental.\u00a0 <\/span>It was good to feel feelings, I guess I haven\u2019t done that for a while.\u00a0 <\/span>There hasn\u2019t been much but discomfort, dryness, and despair.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOn their sleeves was a broken cross, on my heart was the star of David.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
These songs are all ones I have played a number of times.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
from my journal for Saturday, July 16 I wake up early.\u00a0 I feel miserable.\u00a0 I lie there only wanting to go back to sleep, but I can\u2019t.\u00a0 I take the Thyroxin, bring a glass of water, make a cup of … Continue reading