(Written in February 2007)
\nTold Karen all about the confusions of last week and the terror of Saturday, and what Eleanor said about Brad\u2019s leaving.\u00a0 But really that\u2019s all evaluation and analysis.\u00a0 What\u2019s in the moment is the terrified baby, freaked out, resisting, \u201cTHIS IS NOT OK!\u201d\u00a0 What does she need?\u00a0 Someone to come and soothe her: \u201cThere there, no wonder you\u2019re upset.\u00a0 It was not OK that they left you all alone.\u201d Calm, warm, accepting, reassuring.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take you somewhere where you will be safe.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 But if I can\u2019t manage that, I can at least remember to be present and to intend kindness.\u00a0 If that\u2019s the best I can do, then that\u2019s the best I can do.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been able to say to the baby: \u201cThere, there, dear.\u00a0 Of course you\u2019re terrified.\u00a0 It was not OK that they went away and left you.\u00a0 I\u2019m here now, and I\u2019m not going to leave.\u201d I had a momentary image of the baby turning toward me.\u00a0 And there\u2019s warmth in my heart that just comes and goes.\u00a0 This is good!\u00a0 It looks like just saying the words helps, even if I don\u2019t feel\/believe them.
\nI also notice that I did better yesterday after I had hurt myself and I was so disabled physically that there was no point in having any expectations of myself.\u00a0 It\u2019s much more comfortable.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t know if having no expectations of myself will let me get long term or big projects done.<\/p>\n
Nancy Napier: \u201cEach time you choose to deal with your feelings in healthy ways, to remove yourself from abusive situations, or to take some time to get in touch with the memories, feelings, thoughts, or body sensations associated with some past hurt, your inner strength increases.\u00a0 You add to this foundation of strength every time you make the choice to reclaim your feelings, each time you acknowledge and own what happened to you and how it has affected your life.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s also important to know that you can choose to have moments away from the healing process.\u00a0 Healing goes on even if you\u2019re having a good time doing something else, or a quiet time with a good book, or a blank time staring at the television set.\u00a0 That deep place in your psyche, the part of you that always seeks to heal, carries on the process no matter what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 It\u2019s your decision to heal that matters.\u00a0 Once that is made, the process carries itself along.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nancy Napier: Getting Through the Day<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Written in February 2007) Told Karen all about the confusions of last week and the terror of Saturday, and what Eleanor said about Brad\u2019s leaving.\u00a0 But really that\u2019s all evaluation and analysis.\u00a0 What\u2019s in the moment is the terrified baby, … Continue reading