(Written in February 2007)
\nThis pain in my heart \u2014 is it resistance to life when life wants to break in and?\u00a0 what?<\/p>\n
Yesterday I tried to investigate it, be curious about it, and it did seem to keep changing.\u00a0 And I did get to a quiet place \u2014 I don\u2019t think I could call it \u201cpeace\u201d \u2014 it was too precarious.\u00a0 This morning I found myself singing \u201cPeace I ask of thee O river\u201d and it felt so na\u00efve and innocent, from a time when life was simple, and the wounding not so complex.\u00a0 \u201cStrength to lead and faith to follow…\u201d but there isn\u2019t any one to follow \u2014 I\u2019m in the position of leader by default \u2014 and all I really want to do is get through the day.\u00a0 Life feels like a grim business, constant struggles to keep going.\u00a0 Struggle to get up \u2014\u2014 actually yesterday, after that first struggle, I was able to just do what had to be done (dump, etc) and read in between.\u00a0 But I couldn\u2019t call it \u201cpeace.\u201d Peace would mean being able to truly relax, in the faith that I was held and sustained by something bigger than myself, and that everything was ultimately going to be OK, and that something terrible was not going to happen, if I just relaxed and did nothing more.
\n\u201cSpirit is in charge and Spirit has a plan in which there is a place for a creature as wounded as I am…\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in February 2007) This pain in my heart \u2014 is it resistance to life when life wants to break in and?\u00a0 what? Yesterday I tried to investigate it, be curious about it, and it did seem to keep changing.\u00a0 … Continue reading