{"id":6841,"date":"2020-10-29T10:47:30","date_gmt":"2020-10-29T14:47:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6841"},"modified":"2020-10-29T10:47:30","modified_gmt":"2020-10-29T14:47:30","slug":"healing-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6841","title":{"rendered":"Healing"},"content":{"rendered":"

From post for October 2003<\/a>:<\/p>\n

The pain in my heart is so great \u2014 there\u2019s something about this deep level that\u2019s so difficult.\u00a0 I suppose because I\u2019m so practiced at making myself wrong and turning away from this kind of pain.
\nDid my best to sit and breathe with it for 20 minutes.\u00a0 It\u2019s very painful.\u00a0 I understand better why people will do anything \u2014 keep busy, drink, abuse children \u2014 to avoid feeling this kind of pain.\u00a0 I think this is the \u201csoft spot\u201d that Pema Chodron talks about.\u00a0 It\u2019s like an unhealed wound.\u00a0 Part of the pain is the vulnerability \u2014 too open and sensitive, feeling only cold hostility or indifference \u2014 desperately wanting to be safe and warm and comforted and not seeing any possibility of that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“It\u2019s like an unhealed wound.\u00a0 Part of the pain is the vulnerability \u2014 too open and sensitive, feeling only cold hostility or indifference \u2014 desperately wanting to be safe and warm and comforted and not seeing any possibility of that.”<\/p>\n

One thing I’ve been finding very helpful is to go back and read old blog entries. I can finally see is how far I have come, how much healing I have done. \u00a0This particular description, “too open and sensitive, feeling only cold hostility or indifference,” I realize now, is exactly how sensitive Baby Jenny felt when cold narcissistic Mom left her alone.<\/p>\n

The last time I felt any vestige of that was in December 2019<\/a>, when I went to sit with Little Jenny in the Pit, and the Pit began to crumble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From post for October 2003: The pain in my heart is so great \u2014 there\u2019s something about this deep level that\u2019s so difficult.\u00a0 I suppose because I\u2019m so practiced at making myself wrong and turning away from this kind of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9,11,4,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-journal","category-present-day","category-trauma","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6841","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6841"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6841\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6841"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6841"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6841"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}