Thursday, September 17 Thursday, October 1 When I went back and checked, the first time I saw them was the day after I had been to grief group in person for the first time in six months. \u00a0Allowing myself to recognize how badly triggered I was, and what a relief it was to be with people who were real, may have been what encouraged the bulbs. \u00a0Watered with the tears of grief. \u00a0They belong with the poem about rewriting my life. \u00a0Rebirth happens!<\/p>\n I suspect these bulbs didn’t flower because they had been forgotten for at least a year. \u00a0They were for sale in a box in “The Attic” where things residents don’t want get sold for small prices. \u00a0The previous owner may even have died.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" From my journal: Thursday, September 17 The most amazing thing has happened!\u00a0 I went to water the plants while my second cup of tea is brewing, and the two narcissus bulbs that never sprouted have put out green shoots! Resurrection … Continue reading
\nThe most amazing thing has happened!\u00a0 <\/span>I went to water the plants while my second cup of tea is brewing, and the two narcissus bulbs that never sprouted have put out green shoots! Resurrection can happen, even when you have given up.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe only<\/span> when you have given up.
\nThey were talking in grief group about getting up and going on, and I remembered \u2014 but didn\u2019t say \u2014 that it always feels like it\u2019s a non-conscious part of me that picks me up after collapse.\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s the importance of AA\u2019s first step.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAcknowledged that I was powerless.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Accepting that you\u2019re not<\/span> in control.\u00a0 <\/span>That allows the larger process to move you.\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s when it gets easy.<\/p>\n
\nI went down to the window to look for the pink clouds, and saw the strong green leaves that the \u201cdead\u201d narcissus bulbs are putting out.\u00a0 <\/span>Did I love them back into life?\u00a0 <\/span>I feel redeemed, and forgiven, and showered with grace.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/bulbsprouts-scaled.jpg\")
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