(Written in January 2007)
\nBad morning.\u00a0 Woke up feeling nauseous and in that cold detached place.\u00a0 Trying to think who this cold intellectual place could be (what an odd phrasing!) I think it\u2019s the five-year-old.\u00a0 She\u2019s fed up with a life of denial, lies, and pretense.\u00a0 She can\u2019t see that feeling emotions, pretending to love, or trying to get love, do any good.\u00a0 All she gets is insults, exploitation and neglect.\u00a0 No wonder she\u2019s fed up.\u00a0 No wonder she\u2019s retreated into a place where she won\u2019t have to feel any emotions, and she won\u2019t get involved.\u00a0 \u201cWhat good is feeling compassion?\u00a0 It just leads to pain, and baffled helplessness because you can\u2019t change the situations where people are suffering.\u201d
\n\u201cI choose to be compassionate, because I believe that compassionate witnessing does relieve suffering.\u00a0 And I believe that we are all in this together, that trying to isolate oneself is against truth, and that the pain of isolation is as great as any of the other pains.\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t agree.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather be isolated and avoid pain.\u00a0 You won\u2019t get me to feel compassion.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m not interested in changing you.\u00a0 I support you in taking care of yourself in the best way you know.\u00a0 and I will sit here with you and experience\/witness your feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lynelle came in to talk about the driving conditions.\u00a0 I told her about the cold intellectual place I was in.\u00a0 She said \u201cToo much pain\u201d and I could feel things crack and soften in my heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in January 2007) Bad morning.\u00a0 Woke up feeling nauseous and in that cold detached place.\u00a0 Trying to think who this cold intellectual place could be (what an odd phrasing!) I think it\u2019s the five-year-old.\u00a0 She\u2019s fed up with a … Continue reading