{"id":6575,"date":"2020-04-06T11:27:19","date_gmt":"2020-04-06T15:27:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6575"},"modified":"2020-04-06T13:35:22","modified_gmt":"2020-04-06T17:35:22","slug":"hijacked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6575","title":{"rendered":"Hijacked"},"content":{"rendered":"

Van der Kolk \u201cThe big issue for traumatized people is they don\u2019t own themselves any more.\u00a0 Any loud sound, anybody insulting them, hurting them, saying bad things, can hijack them away from themselves.\u00a0 And so what we have learned is that what makes you resilient to trauma is to own yourself fully.\u201d\u00a0 Interview with Krista Tippett, in Becoming Wise<\/a>, p88.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yesterday, while walking my dog with a friend walking her dog, and doing our best to stay more than 6 feet apart, I totally lost it.\u00a0 <\/span>We walk the dogs in a large park where we can let them off leash.\u00a0 <\/span>Usually it works fine and gives them a chance to get more exercise.\u00a0 <\/span>But Mocha got interested in another dog, and went up toward the highway, ignoring my calls.\u00a0 <\/span>My friend called her dog, who came right back.\u00a0 <\/span>But Mocha paid no attention.\u00a0 <\/span>Sometimes if I walk away from her fast, she\u2019ll come after me, but yesterday she was paying no attention to me at all.\u00a0 <\/span>I got totally freaked out and began to cry.\u00a0 <\/span>I could feel that all the strength drained out of my body.\u00a0 <\/span>When Mocha did come back, I just kept crying.<\/p>\n

I think this is the \u201ccollapse phase<\/a>\u201d which happens when the organism has concluded that death is imminent.\u00a0 <\/span>The fifth stage<\/a> in trauma:\u00a0 <\/span>Alert \u2014> fight \u2014> flee \u2014> freeze \u2014> collapse\u00a0 <\/span>It happens to me when I feel so completely helpless.\u00a0 <\/span>Even though death doesn\u2019t seem reasonable, after all I\u2019m healthy, have a safe place to live, there\u2019s nothing dangerous in my immediate environment \u2014 to a baby, because it\u2019s helpless, when it\u2019s alone death is always imminent.<\/p>\n

My friend keeps telling me that I’m not firm enough when I call Mocha. \u00a0I know this, and occasionally I can do it, but often even my best try sounds tentative rather than firm. \u00a0It’s like I don’t feel that I have the right to command my dog. \u00a0I think this is what Van der Kolk means by “not owning” myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Van der Kolk \u201cThe big issue for traumatized people is they don\u2019t own themselves any more.\u00a0 Any loud sound, anybody insulting them, hurting them, saying bad things, can hijack them away from themselves.\u00a0 And so what we have learned is … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6575","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-present-day","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6575","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6575"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6575\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6575"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}