from my journal for November 11<\/p>\n
On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the Great War came to an end.\u00a0 <\/span>But the war in Afghanistan is still going on. and it\u2019s just part of the unending war.<\/p>\n
The most important thing yesterday was Meeting.\u00a0 <\/span>I was able to sink deeply into the Silence.\u00a0 <\/span>I felt held in love by the Good Being, and I was holding all I love at the same time.\u00a0 <\/span>I thought about my life, the life that was \u201csmashed<\/a> before I ever opened the package,\u201d and I saw myself holding this incredibly rich woven together construction of all the pieces.\u00a0 <\/span>I am so grateful.\u00a0 <\/span>Wash after wash of gratitude.<\/p>\n
I realize that holding my life in my arms and feeling so grateful does not change my wish to die sooner rather than later.\u00a0 <\/span>My life doesn\u2019t feel like a chore \u2014 right now, I suppose that could come back \u2014 instead it feels like a huge work of art, or a pilgrimage, and it\u2019s finished.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Journal for November 13<\/p>\n
I know what it is \u2014 my life is complete \u2014 it\u2019s not finished, it won\u2019t be finished until I die \u2014 but all the pieces are there, and they are all incorporated.<\/p>\n
This is all the fruit of my pilgrimage to Portland to be present at that strange event, which can\u2019t really be named \u2014 which was a weaving together of lives and processes, an invocation of powers and a willingness to offer ourselves to their process.\u00a0 <\/span>I came out stronger, and in the last month \u2014 the last cycle of the moon \u2014 I\u2019ve circled the field of my life, and seen it Whole.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s more than fitting the pieces back together, the way they were supposed to be.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe fairest destiny [for any life would be that it should]\u00a0 <\/span>point the way to a larger and more comprehensive\u201d [life].\u00a0 <\/span>I am so grateful, so grateful.\u00a0 <\/span>For the shattering that allowed me to have a larger life, for all the gifts of time and money and good education, and help along the way, and for my own persistence in keeping going, for my fierce, uncompromising, commitment to Truth, for my willingness to feel intense, intolerable pain.\u00a0 <\/span>The song in my head is \u201cI say grace.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI say grace for the blue painted sky … when I look back on the road that I\u2019ve travelled down, I say grace.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
That \u201cstrange event\u201d\u2014 the Night of Grief and Mystery<\/a> that I shared with Stephen, Gregory, the band, the people sitting around me, and everybody else that was there.<\/p>\n
The Moon is a very important being in my life.\u00a0 <\/span>I look for it every day when there\u2019s clear sky, I follow the phases and know when and where to look \u2014 if the moon is waning, look in the morning.\u00a0 <\/span>Sometimes I think I live in the solar system, not in some specific place on the Planet Earth.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe field of my life\u201d see Regrets<\/a>.<\/p>\n
The quote that I\u2019ve modified is my favorite quote from Einstein:\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe fairest destiny that could be allotted to any physical theory would be that it should, of itself, point the way to a larger and more comprehensive theory, in which it lives on as a limiting case.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>I memorized it long ago, perhaps it changed a little, don\u2019t remember where I read it.<\/p>\n
The actual quote from Wikipedia<\/a>:<\/p>\n
\n
- No fairer destiny could be allotted to any physical theory, than that it should of itself point out the way to the introduction of a more comprehensive theory, in which it lives on as a limiting case.<\/li>\n
- <\/i>\u00dcber die spezielle und die allgemeine Relativit\u00e4tstheorie<\/i> (1920) Tr. Robert W. Lawson, Relativity: The Special and General Theory<\/i> (1920) pp. 90-91.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
A “limiting case” means that it is still true, but only works in a limited arena, say only for objects bigger than grapes but smaller than planets.<\/p>\n
The song in my head is \u201cI say grace.\u201d \u00a0 <\/span>I Say Grace is a song that Stefan Freedman<\/a> choreographed a circle dance to, so I have it on a CD.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
from my journal for November 11 On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the Great War came to an end.\u00a0 But the war in Afghanistan is still going on. and it\u2019s just part of the … Continue reading