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<\/a><\/p>\nI had experiences all weekend of people affirming and praising me.\u00a0 For my generosity, for my collection of books, for my knowledge of so many odd subjects.\u00a0 I can\u2019t find words for the disjunct \u2014 I still expect – the expectation is embedded in my cells – to be made wrong for what they are welcoming and celebrating.\u00a0 I\u2019m no longer blocking it out, I\u2019m almost able to let it come in.\u00a0 Told Kevin and he said \u201cI hear you saying \u2018Does anybody see me?\u2019\u201d Yes, exactly.\u00a0\u00a0 It took a tribe of mature women, who had been seeking and asking, and who had lots of life experience to be able to see and rejoice in what you have to offer.<\/p>\n Karen helped a lot.\u00a0 She said the reason I couldn\u2019t take in the praise & validation was because I had no framework to put it in.\u00a0 At least I could hear it.\u00a0 At least I wasn\u2019t frightened, or ashamed, or in denial, or trying to hide.\u00a0 But when I try to take it in there\u2019s just a huge blank empty space \u2014 no pigeon holes, no structure to help me absorb it.\u00a0 Not like Judy calling me her \u201cdance-mother\u201d, and then being able to understand that Meaghan is my \u201cdance-daughter\u201d and the women from Virginia who came to DB camp were my dance-grand-daughters.\u00a0 The kinship structure is in place for understanding what that means, and produces feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment.<\/p>\n We just had the second weekend of Laura Shannon\u2019s training in Women\u2019s Traditional Dances.\u00a0 It was warm enough the first afternoon \u2014 and the snow had melted enough to uncover part of the outside dancing circle \u2014 so we went outside and danced around the firepit.\u00a0 Laura taught us a Bulgarian song, sung by two groups of women so the parts overlap, and we danced a simple Pravo Oro in basketweave.\u00a0 Just our voices for music and a simple dance and trees and grass and sky.\u00a0 I entered a timeless realm, and the only words I could find for my experience were \u201cwe\u2019ve been doing this for thousands of years.\u201d Later I had an image of a huge woven container, sort of like an oriole\u2019s nest, open at the top. Woven of trees and sky and our arms and voices and all the songs and dances that have ever been danced on Planet Earth.\u00a0 We are anchored firmly to and in the earth in its long history and open to spirit, to the cosmos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Written in April 2008) Just now, talking to Nada, I told her her work with the most damaged people (mental hospital in the South Bronx) is helping to change the human energy field.\u00a0 She said she loved talking to me.\u00a0 … Continue reading <\/a><\/p>\n