{"id":6163,"date":"2019-06-16T09:20:00","date_gmt":"2019-06-16T13:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6163"},"modified":"2019-06-28T17:26:57","modified_gmt":"2019-06-28T21:26:57","slug":"person-who-lives-outside-all-of-the-boxes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6163","title":{"rendered":"Person Who Lives Outside All of the Boxes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Written on May 15, I\u2019m just typing it up and think WOW.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>How did I miss this?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Another message from the one who knows to the part of me who doesn\u2019t know yet.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat name is big enough for me?\u201d comes from the Margaret Wheatley piece: <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2hlFxyfXcQ\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6120\">To Hold Your Work Free from both Hope and Fear<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px);\" title=\"&#8220;To Hold Your Work Free from both Hope and Fear&#8221; &#8212; jennydeupree.com\" src=\"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6120&#038;embed=true#?secret=xWGffzKT1P#?secret=2hlFxyfXcQ\" data-secret=\"2hlFxyfXcQ\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Wondering what name is big enough for me.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHealer of the world\u201d?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Keeper of the Calendar?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Stonehenge \u2014 cross quarter days \u2014 megalithic instrument in the far north to measure the wiggle of the moon \u2014 Professor Thom and Callanish \u2014 circles whose ratio C\/D is 3 exactly \u2014 &#8220;Pi&#8221; is some weird kind of number&#8230;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>at which point I can\u2019t remember exactly what it is about &#8220;Pi.&#8221;<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s how long it\u2019s been since I\u2019ve thought about that stuff.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Mr. Gropen and catching a lion in the desert.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The larger class of infinity.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The Good Woman of Setzuan.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4715\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Healer of the World<\/a>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Pi&#8221; is a <a href=\"http:\/\/mathcentral.uregina.ca\/QQ\/database\/QQ.09.07\/h\/peter18.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">non-repeating decimal<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Something about the program won&#8217;t let me publish the Greek letter &#8220;Pi&#8221; so I express it this way.<\/p>\n<p>Mr. Gropen taught math at Wellesley.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He was fond of telling us odd features of mathematics.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He was actually in the college production of Good Woman of Setzuan, and commented that he was surprised that more students weren\u2019t interested in the play.<\/p>\n<p>After I typed this up I added, in brackets, which indicates something added later: [person who lives outside all the boxes] \u00a0Mr. Gropen taught outside the box, Professor Thom discovered amazing feats of mathematics by the neolithic people who built the megaliths.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?page_id=74\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Callanish<\/a> is my favorite stone circle.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A sense of who I might have been without trauma.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Well, no, that is who I am \u2014 can\u2019t find words for it \u2014 I am still that person, not warped or limited by PTSD, instead applying my intelligence \u2014 curious, open, ready to move outside the box \u2014 to PTSD.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Here\u2019s something big enough to really get my teeth into.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Not the universe out there, but the universe in here.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I say &#8220;not warped or limited by PTSD&#8221; \u2014 PTSD certainly limited my life on the surface: I was never a suburban mom, or a professor of Astronomy. \u00a0But my exploration of the inner realm of PTSD is not that different, in challenges and hard work, from explorations \u00a0of a mountain range, or\u00a0Antarctica.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I think this is a result of what Erica said yesterday.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I am able to be with myself in present time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I am able to be \u201cnatural,\u201d to be who I am without the constriction of judgment.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She is amazed and impressed by my willingness to be with the process of aging, to be with real data in real time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>My goodness.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;To be with real data in real time&#8221; is the practice of being in the present, which I have learned by staying with intolerable emotional pain.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written on May 15, I\u2019m just typing it up and think WOW.\u00a0 How did I miss this?\u00a0 Another message from the one who knows to the part of me who doesn\u2019t know yet. \u201cWhat name is big enough for me?\u201d &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=6163\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9,11,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-journal","category-present-day","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6163"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6163\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}