{"id":5941,"date":"2018-12-05T10:01:21","date_gmt":"2018-12-05T15:01:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=5941"},"modified":"2018-12-06T10:07:03","modified_gmt":"2018-12-06T15:07:03","slug":"depression-in-reaction-to-feeling-good-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=5941","title":{"rendered":"Depression in Reaction to Feeling Good"},"content":{"rendered":"

This was originally posted on June 1, 2015. \u00a0I wrote the first paragraph to share with other people struggling with PTSD. \u00a0I’ve been going back and reading older posts and finding them comforting and validating. \u00a0This one resonated because I am deep in despair. \u00a0It doesn’t feel like depression, but it does feel like numbness, apathy, exhaustion<\/a>. \u00a0The exhaustion is real, and I was hoping to find something that will help. \u00a0I went to the Vreeland Clinic<\/a>, because I know they have been able to help people that standard medical practice can’t help. \u00a0And I’m not interested in medication. \u00a0One of the things I had to do is collect saliva for a test for cortisol levels. \u00a0But I have had no luck. \u00a0I struggle with dry mouth, due to both medication and age, and I simply am not able to produce enough saliva to put in the collecting tube. \u00a0Being stuck in a process<\/a> to help me feel better brings up all the messages Nancy Napier talks about. \u00a0“You don’t deserve good things” etc.<\/p>\n

June 1, 2015<\/p>\n

The worst thing about PTSD for me is to be where I am now: Technically called hypoarousal, it also means depressed and numb.\u00a0 The numbness is my brain and nervous system\u2019s mechanism for saving me from overload.\u00a0 I can barely get through the day.\u00a0 There are other things I need to do, like find someone to prescribe medication \u2014 my regular person is on emergency medical leave.\u00a0 I have to find out why my application for Medicare B seems to have gone into the void.\u00a0 Trying to jump through the hoops of the bureaucracy is too difficult.\u00a0 This is why so many Veterans are in homeless shelters.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a Veteran \u2014 not of a foreign war \u2014 though I could say I\u2019m a veteran of a domestic war:\u00a0 I was traumatized in infancy.<\/p>\n

Nancy Napier<\/a> explains that this is in reaction to having felt good about myself<\/a> recently.\u00a0 \u201cWhen we\u2019ve been hurt as children, it\u2019s not unusual to have parts of us that guard against hope. \u2026 Disowned parts of us fight back with messages that say we don\u2019t deserve good things, that good only turns into bad in the end, and who do we think we are anyway?\u201d\u00a0 Getting through the Day, pp19-4<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was originally posted on June 1, 2015. \u00a0I wrote the first paragraph to share with other people struggling with PTSD. \u00a0I’ve been going back and reading older posts and finding them comforting and validating. \u00a0This one resonated because I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5941"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5941\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}