Notes from my talk with Erica on March 9:<\/p>\n
Difference between compassion and empathy
\nEmpathy [feel what the person feels] \u2014> empathy fatigue: feel tired and guilty
\nCompassion \u2014> holding space for their story
\nwitness\u2014> lets them know their experience is valuable
\nI am not responsible for taking care of their pain
\nthank you [response of witnesses to grief writing]
\nalso lets them know you value them
\nCompassionate act confers dignity<\/p><\/blockquote>\nDifference between Compassion and Empathy<\/p>\n
When you feel empathy, you feel what the person feels.\u00a0 You tend to feel sorry for them and want to help them, or think that you ought to help them.\u00a0 A lot of this can wear you out.\u00a0 You start feeling tired and guilty.<\/p>\n
When you feel compassion, you also feel what the person feels, but there\u2019s more distance, you are more of a witness.\u00a0 You hold space for their story, which lets them know that their experience is valuable.<\/p>\n
I think of the work I did in the grief workshop<\/a> and in Writers for Recovery<\/a>.\u00a0 We wrote in response to a prompt: \u00a0 \u201cI remember…\u201d \u00a0 \u201cI wish someone would ask me…\u201d\u00a0 The prompts would generate stories, which we might have been uncomfortable reading aloud, except that we knew that everyone in the group shared the same basic experience.\u00a0 So when we listen to someone reading their story, we know exactly what that feels like.\u00a0 We don\u2019t feel like we are supposed to make it all right for them.\u00a0 Mostly we don\u2019t even know how to make it all right for ourselves.\u00a0 But our friendly listening confers dignity on them.\u00a0 Often it does help.\u00a0 To have someone listen to your awful experience without judgement is often the start of healing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Notes from my talk with Erica on March 9: Difference between compassion and empathy Empathy [feel what the person feels] \u2014> empathy fatigue: feel tired and guilty Compassion \u2014> holding space for their story witness\u2014> lets them know their experience … Continue reading