I wrote this in December 2005:\u00a0 I\u2019m feeling very angry and resentful that I\u2019ve worked so hard for so long and don\u2019t have any rewards.\u00a0 Well, there are some rewards, they\u2019re just few and far between.\u00a0 I\u2019m angry that I\u2019ve built a good life for myself and am not able to enjoy it.\u00a0 I\u2019m resentful that other people are out there having fun and I\u2019m not able to.\u00a0 I also remember reading down the list of \u201cChoices made by extremely happy people\u201d and realizing I\u2019ve made all of them.\u00a0 (They mostly had to do with taking responsibility for one\u2019s life.) So why am I not happy?\u00a0 I \u201cshould\u201d be happy, I\u2019ve done many things \u201cright\u201d.\u00a0 So either I\u2019m, at some level, choosing not to be happy for some perverse reason of my own, or I\u2019m up against brain chemistry which I have no control over, or I\u2019m struggling with some major physical disability that hasn\u2019t been identified.\u00a0 Not having energy really leaves me vulnerable to depression.<\/p>\n
In February 2006 I went to see Dr. Vreeland<\/a> in Norwich, Vermont. He’s been able to help a lot of people who hadn’t been helped by the standard medical practice.\u00a0 He does live blood cell analysis which I really like because you can see exactly what’s happening in your body.\u00a0 I took him some blood tests I’d had done the year before, trying to find out what was causing my low level of energy.\u00a0 He looked at the tests, looked at me, and said “I think you’re dealing with low thyroid.\u00a0 Has your temperature always been low?”\u00a0 My jaw dropped to the floor.\u00a0 Yes, my temperature has been 96.8\u00b0 for as long as I can remember, and no doctor has ever commented on it.\u00a0 He had me take my armpit temperature in the morning before I started moving.\u00a0 Some days it was as low as 94\u00b0.\u00a0 He also suggested I read a book “Hypothyroidism: the Unsuspected Illness<\/a>“, which was published back in the 60s.\u00a0 The author, Broda Barnes, talks about all the illnesses that can be caused by low thyroid.\u00a0 The symptoms mimic those of depression.\u00a0 Before I started taking Imipramine, they tested the level of thyroid hormone in my blood.\u00a0 It was low but within the “normal” range.\u00a0 But Barnes says the symptom that really counts is low temperature. Dream: people are coming into the room as tho to a party\/celebration.\u00a0 Then I\u2019m talking to a woman in a green dress who is a friend, not particularly close tho.\u00a0 I tell her about the thyroid condition.\u00a0 She says she always secretly thought that I was lazy.\u00a0 She wants me to tell the whole group, she says \u201cWe\u2019ll make room for your performance this evening.\u201d\u00a0 Then she calls out to the whole group: \u201cHere\u2019s a woman in her third blooming.\u201d They all clap and cheer.\u00a0 Then we go out a door to a garden space where some people are playing musical instruments.\u00a0 To our right doors are open into a room where people are dancing.\u00a0 On our left is a man playing a fiddle.\u00a0 The woman in green introduces him \u2014 he\u2019s tall, dark, dressed in dark clothes, with a craggy face, gypsyish \u2014 he takes me by the arm and walks me into the room, saying \u201cI\u2019ll see you properly ballroomed.\u201d We join the other couples who are lining up as though to do a contra dance. It\u2019s so amazing.\u00a0 My energy is much better since Dr. Vreeland told me what\u2019s going on \u2014 and also his confidence that he can fix it.\u00a0 Relief and hope together have made a huge difference in how I feel.<\/p>\n I notice now that I actually felt better just knowing<\/em> about the condition, before I even started taking the supplements. This is the effect of morale that Byron Brown talks about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I wrote this in December 2005:\u00a0 I\u2019m feeling very angry and resentful that I\u2019ve worked so hard for so long and don\u2019t have any rewards.\u00a0 Well, there are some rewards, they\u2019re just few and far between.\u00a0 I\u2019m angry that I\u2019ve … Continue reading
\nDr. Vreeland says of the low thyroid condition that when my blood sugar is low the adrenals kick in and then some complex thing happens which he called \u201chormonal pingpong\u201d \u2014 that explains the wierdness of my symptoms.\u00a0 He did the live blood cell study \u2014 there were my red corpuscles, mostly round with strong cell walls, a few white cells, one \u201ckiller cell\u201d which looked a little dragonish.\u00a0 He said my blood looked good, that I had done a great job with diet \u2014 that made me feel great!\u00a0 So I have hope \u2014 more hope than I\u2019ve had for a long time.<\/p>\n
\nGoodness!\u00a0 \u201cThird blooming.\u201d I like the idea.<\/p>\n