{"id":5615,"date":"2017-10-09T10:36:30","date_gmt":"2017-10-09T14:36:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=5615"},"modified":"2017-10-09T10:36:30","modified_gmt":"2017-10-09T14:36:30","slug":"kendal-retirement-community","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=5615","title":{"rendered":"Kendal Retirement Community"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have mentioned Kendal<\/a> several times, but never said much about it.<\/p>\n

I started having a really hard time after Bella<\/a> died in September 2013.\u00a0 Lynelle warned me that it would trigger abandonment issues and it certainly did.\u00a0 I started working with Erica in June of 2014.\u00a0 She specialized in working with \u201ctrauma and attachment issues.\u201d\u00a0 Her methods were totally different from anybody I had ever worked with, and I could tell that we were really getting to what happened to me at last.<\/p>\n

Trying to support myself, I even got a little stuffed dog<\/a> to be a \u201ctransitional object.\u201d \u00a0I think it was about that same time Lynelle mentioned that I might want to look into Kendal.\u00a0 Someone she knew had moved to Kendal and loved it.\u00a0 I talked to her on the phone.\u00a0 I remember that I was actually terrified to make the call.\u00a0 It turned out that what she really liked was the excellence of the healthcare, and the number of activities she could participate in as a volunteer.\u00a0 Things like reshelving books in the library.\u00a0 Those things didn\u2019t interest me at all, nor did I really warm to the woman.\u00a0 When I first mentioned Kendal to my friend Eve, she was horrified.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s full of rich Republicans.\u201d<\/p>\n

I got serious about looking for a retirement community after I went to Kindred Spirits<\/a> for the first time and found out what it was like to feel like I am really OK just as I am.\u00a0 By that time I had learned that having people around, and regular meals that I didn\u2019t have to prepare, helped me to at least be functional.\u00a0 What I hadn\u2019t yet had was the experience of being with people who are willing to tell the truth and to hear the truth even when it\u2019s painful.\u00a0 I was amazed to find that when I\u2019m with people who are committed to truth, I actually feel that both my \u201cbad\u201d parts (i.e. depression) and my \u201cgood\u201d parts (enthusiasm) are completely acceptable.<\/p>\n

The importance of not being alone and having food available reminded me of my experience at Caron Institute<\/a>.\u00a0 They are in Reading PA, and were the first alcoholism treatment center in the USA.\u00a0 They run a week-long program for co-dependent people, \u201cpeople whose lives have been impacted by the disease of addiction.\u201d\u00a0 I went because two of my brothers went and said it was really good.\u00a0 When I was signing in, they took my car keys (so I couldn\u2019t leave without talking to someone) and my medication (so there would be no temptation to overdose.)\u00a0 They said I couldn\u2019t walk around outside without someone else.\u00a0 Finally they told me that there would be someone available all night if I needed to talk.\u00a0 That was the most reassuring, since being sleepless and alone has always been very hard for me.\u00a0 I was surprised that instead of feeling restricted, I felt safe.\u00a0 I felt safer than I ever had in my life.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have the concept of \u201ccontainer\u201d back then, but that\u2019s what made me feel safe.<\/p>\n

Seeing that it made sense to join a retirement community I checked out the Westview in Montpelier and Riverglen in Littleton.\u00a0 They are both small, about thirty people, and I realized that I probably would have a hard time finding enough \u201cKindred Spirits\u201d to feel comfortable.\u00a0 The Kendal community is about 400 people, so even if I can only feel really comfortable with 1 out of 10 people, there would be about 40 people that I could find deeper relationships with.\u00a0 I also investigated \u201cEco-communities\u201d as I knew they would be people who shared my values.\u00a0 But all that was available were small houses or apartments.\u00a0 There was no setup for regular community meals.\u00a0 I also considered co-housing, but again it would be too easy for me to be isolated.\u00a0 I know I need to be more involved with people, and at least at first I need to have already established ways of getting together around common interests.\u00a0 I need to be part of a writing group that already exists, not trying to start a writing group on my own.\u00a0 I need to have classes in things like yoga and dancing nearby, so they will be easy to get to.\u00a0 Kendal is big enough that things like fitness classes are in the buildings where we live.<\/p>\n

The first question I asked all of them was \u201cCan I bring my dog?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have mentioned Kendal several times, but never said much about it. I started having a really hard time after Bella died in September 2013.\u00a0 Lynelle warned me that it would trigger abandonment issues and it certainly did.\u00a0 I started … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-present-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5615"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5615\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}