PEACE.\u00a0 LOVE.\u00a0 JUSTICE.\u00a0 MERCY.\u00a0 TRUTH.\u00a0 HOPE.<\/p>\n
This has been my mantra during these days of darkness.\u00a0 I wanted to put a positive intention out there, and to remind myself of the things I really value.\u00a0 But I have crashed really badly.\u00a0 I still try to say those words, but they are empty.<\/p>\n
I think it happened because I suddenly understood that we can\u2019t believe ANYTHING that\u2019s printed or shown on TV, the internet, etc.\u00a0 Photographs and videos can be fakes.\u00a0 The side I\u2019m on may be exaggerating something to scare you into sending money.\u00a0 The other side has an investment in NOT telling the truth.\u00a0 They would probably say the same about me.\u00a0 On Sunday a friend retold one of the stories that\u2019s been going around – it\u2019s about the play \u201cHamilton\u201d and I haven’t watched so I don\u2019t have any idea what really happened – she told it in a way to make Pence look not so bad.\u00a0 I asked her where she got the news.\u00a0 She said \u201cThe New York Times.\u201d\u00a0 That reminded me of a post on Facebook showing two different front pages for the same day.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t read \u2014 though maybe I should have \u2014 and I remember years ago seeing two different covers for Time magazine.\u00a0 One was for people in this country, the other was for the international subscribers.\u00a0 I suppose that was the first crack in the wall of my adolescent belief in \u201cfreedom of the press.\u201d\u00a0 Then I had the experience of being in protest actions and finding the newspaper account belittling what happened.\u00a0 I was RIGHT THERE, so I knew they weren\u2019t telling the truth.\u00a0 The other painful memory is after Kent State (I was in Davis California at the time).\u00a0 I went into a 7\/11 and the woman behind the counter was saying \u201cThose kids were pissing and shitting on the guardsmen.\u201d\u00a0 I asked where she got the story.\u00a0 \u201cFrom an eyewitness in the dorm.\u201d\u00a0 It took me quite a while afterward to visualize the story at which point it became ridiculous.\u00a0 But my highest value is Truth, though I know that my understanding has changed many times since I first thought scientific knowledge was truth.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure I could say what it is even now. \u00a0The best I can do is to\u00a0say Truth is\u00a0what is in alignment with the Great Powers of the Universe.<\/p>\n
So for the last couple of days I have been in the bottom of the Pit of severe depression.\u00a0 The only difference from severe depression in the past is there\u2019s no personal component in it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to do with me being worthless, etc.\u00a0 It just has to do with the times in which we find ourselves.\u00a0 Right now I am simply not up to what I would want to do, at the least hold on to my values.\u00a0 I expect that will come back it always has.\u00a0 But cooking and eating is very hard, anything else is impossible.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t even walked the dog – I\u2019m just letting her out to run before I feed her so she\u2019ll come back.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been able to take a shower or change the sheets or do yoga (except in class).\u00a0 All things that have to do with taking care of myself.\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve come out of\u00a0it before.<\/p>\n
Right now it\u2019s just keeping on keeping on, and reciting those meaningless words that once sustained my heart.\u00a0 I do believe that the arc of moral history is long, but it bends toward justice, compassion, peace.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
PEACE.\u00a0 LOVE.\u00a0 JUSTICE.\u00a0 MERCY.\u00a0 TRUTH.\u00a0 HOPE. This has been my mantra during these days of darkness.\u00a0 I wanted to put a positive intention out there, and to remind myself of the things I really value.\u00a0 But I have crashed really … Continue reading