Journal for Thursday, December 31<\/p>\n
On my notepad \u201csuffering is from resistance to what is.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m sitting on the couch with the dog next to me.\u00a0 Snow outside covering the grounds and on branches.\u00a0 It\u2019s close to freezing, feels damp outside.\u00a0 My heart is feeling cold and sad.<\/p>\n
Life feels meaningless, people are greedy and selfish, there is no god.\u00a0 That seems to be the truth for me right now.\u00a0 I can sit here and hold it.\u00a0 I can remember the drawing<\/a> of the \u201cgood\u201d pieces holding the broken ones with love.\u00a0 I think about how today’s “cold and sad” carries a\u00a0sense of empty sophistication \u2014 it carries some flavor of what I grew up with: upper class, drinking, deb parties, point-to-point, keeping up social status…\u00a0 I realize that\u2019s not<\/span> the kind of person I am.\u00a0 I wonder if that\u2019s what Mom & Dad felt, and why they drank.\u00a0 I remember a time, I think it must have been in Louisville, Kentucky for some horse event.\u00a0 I was in a room with a lot of adults, all drinking.\u00a0 I think the only person there my age was my friend Patty.\u00a0 Looking back I can see that I was profoundly depressed.\u00a0 I also see that that community was the opposite of Kindred Spirits<\/a>: instead of authenticity and emotional honesty and sharing, there was pretense, false persona, issues about control and status.\u00a0 I can think about those people and feel compassion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Journal for Thursday, December 31 On my notepad \u201csuffering is from resistance to what is.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m sitting on the couch with the dog next to me.\u00a0 Snow outside covering the grounds and on branches.\u00a0 It\u2019s close to freezing, feels damp … Continue reading