(Written in November 2008)<\/p>\n
Exploring my mix of feelings at my friend for not joining us in dancing to celebrate Obama\u2019s victory, I was able to see that many parts of me are there.\u00a0 (What Kevin calls \u201cthe whole committee.\u201d) Not just Jenny the co-dependent who can\u2019t celebrate because someone important to her is upset, but also Jenny who creates celebrations, and Jenny who misses her friend and wishes she could be part of it, and Jenny who\u2019s angry at her friend for not being able to \u201cget past it.\u201d And also Jenny who is supposed to make it OK for her friend, not because she is wiser or more spiritual, but because if she doesn\u2019t she\u2019s bad-worthless-and-rotten-and-should-be-dead.\u00a0 Well, at first I thought I was spending too much time on something trivial, but now I see that any detail can provide grist for the mill, a place of opening, and I\u2019ve just done a good piece of work.\u00a0 I can feel them all here.\u00a0 And the job is not to get the more adult and spiritual ones to win out, or for the wounded and co-dependent ones to see the error of their ways, but just to hold them all in compassion.\u00a0 O my, I\u2019m feeling a huge surge of love for this little group of Jennys, god bless them.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m feeling an amazing amount of love for myself.\u00a0 This is different from back in July when I was feeling good about myself and my life, about how hard I had fought and had finally arrived at a good life.\u00a0 What I\u2019m feeling now is a lot of warmth and compassion for this person who suffers so much, and struggles so hard, and has no idea of her limitations, and tries to do good, and makes stupid mistakes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in November 2008) Exploring my mix of feelings at my friend for not joining us in dancing to celebrate Obama\u2019s victory, I was able to see that many parts of me are there.\u00a0 (What Kevin calls \u201cthe whole committee.\u201d) … Continue reading