I was typing up the entry from Thursday, August 18. \u00a0I usually try to type them about month after they were written. \u00a0This blew me away because it’s such an obvious lead-in to the post about the “flash” of knowledge that God loves my faults, which came only a few days later. \u00a0It helps me get that this work is done in layers, that each discovery has to be made again and again at deeper levels of embodiment.<\/p>\n
Journal entry from 8\/18\/15<\/p>\n
Woke up feeling sad and empty.\u00a0 What will I do with the rest of my life?<\/p>\n
The book by the guy who started TWLOHA<\/a> came and I started to read it.\u00a0 It\u2019s a series of short pieces.\u00a0 He mentions reading Anne Lamott\u2019s Traveling Mercies<\/a>, so I got it out too and read them in tandem.\u00a0 Jamie\u2019s book is called If You Feel Too Much<\/a>.\u00a0 In both books there is mess and brokenness, but also love and connection.\u00a0 I will have to read Jamie again and mark the quotes I want to copy.\u00a0 I\u2019m getting a sense that all of us are broken in different ways, that even in our broken-ness we can help each other.\u00a0 Perhaps only<\/span> in our brokenness do we have the compassion and understanding to help.\u00a0 I\u2019m starting to see that even in my brokenness I can help others, I can make a difference.\u00a0 It\u2019s also true that people can love me in my brokenness.\u00a0 I think of Eve and Lee Ann who both hugged me hard and said \u201cI love you so much.\u201d<\/p>\n This is something entirely new: to see that I can help, that I matter, that I can be loved, even though I am broken.\u00a0 This seems astonishing.\u00a0 I must have been assuming all along that I couldn\u2019t really help, couldn\u2019t really matter, couldn\u2019t really be loved, unless I was healed.\u00a0 Like other things that have been so fundamental in my life I only see it when it is gone, disproved.<\/p>\n So now I\u2019m down in the pit with all the other broken ones.\u00a0 We\u2019re all in this together, and we\u2019re doing the best we can, and we need to ask each other for help.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been wanting to heal because I wanted to be able to enjoy my life.\u00a0 Now that doesn\u2019t seem so important.\u00a0 Compassion and community seem so much more important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was typing up the entry from Thursday, August 18. \u00a0I usually try to type them about month after they were written. \u00a0This blew me away because it’s such an obvious lead-in to the post about the “flash” of knowledge … Continue reading