(Written in February 2010)
\nYesterday was tough.\u00a0 I was alone.\u00a0 The sadness I was feeling is an odd painful sadness \u2014 maybe it carries a sense of \u201cforever\u201d like depression does.\u00a0 It feels like the baby\u2019s sadness \u2014 although knowing that didn\u2019t make any difference.\u00a0 I did curl up on the bed with the baby doll and the Napier tape.\u00a0 I sat with Lynelle while she was doing yoga and just cried.\u00a0 I did read one passage, that ends with \u201cmy work to heal this traumatized fragment of the earth is meaningful.\u201d\u00a0 But I wasn\u2019t able to believe it.\u00a0 I kept saying it over and over as something to hang on to.
\nLynelle thinks the sadness is because I\u2019m missing Caryn.\u00a0 Tears came up when she said it, so it\u2019s probably true.\u00a0 I\u2019m not consciously aware of missing her, but it\u2019s probably the baby, the very deep parts that she\u2019s been working with, who miss her.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking that the painful feelings that shadow the sadness, are probably because this very young part of me doesn\u2019t have object constancy yet.\u00a0 Caryn is gone, she no longer exists.\u00a0 This sadness is not the same as grief, which always feels like it\u2019s moving, there\u2019s a stuckness to it, and sense of hopeless helplessness.\u00a0 The adult part of me was comforted by knowing I have Liz Heron as backup for S.E.\u00a0 I imagine putting my arms around the baby, holding her gently and warmly.\u00a0 That helps.<\/p>\n
Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I\u2019m feeling sad.\u00a0 Can you help me? (Written in February 2010) Yesterday was tough.\u00a0 I was alone.\u00a0 The sadness I was feeling is an odd painful sadness \u2014 maybe it carries a sense of \u201cforever\u201d like depression does.\u00a0 It feels like the baby\u2019s sadness \u2014 although knowing … Continue reading
\nDear Jenny, we love you a lot.\u00a0 Sadness is to be expected in a life like yours where there have been many losses.\u00a0 You are also tired, which makes you vulnerable, and you are sad because you didn\u2019t have enough energy to keep dancing at the contradance last night.\u00a0 Make some tea and do the lovingkindness meditation for 20 minutes.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"