{"id":4418,"date":"2014-10-15T11:49:13","date_gmt":"2014-10-15T15:49:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4418"},"modified":"2014-10-19T15:46:21","modified_gmt":"2014-10-19T19:46:21","slug":"muffy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4418","title":{"rendered":"Muffy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"muffy\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Muffy is a little stuffed dog I bought when missing Bella got to be too much for me.\u00a0 He is a \u201ctransitional object<\/a>,” like the “security blanket”\u00a0a child uses when she is learning that she’s apart from her mother, an individual who will have to take care of herself. \u00a0If her mother is loving, she will create an internal loving mother which will give her a firm foundation for building a life. \u00a0If her mother is not loving, or disabled in some way (by depression, say, or alcoholism) then she will internalize a critical judge or a destructive inner voice.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s astonishing how real Muffy\u00a0has become to me.\u00a0 I only show him to close friends who understand what my life is like.\u00a0 I take him to therapy sessions.\u00a0 When I\u2019m sitting in Erica\u2019s waiting room, he\u2019s hidden in my bag.\u00a0 I try to make sure he\u2019s comfortable when I put him in the bag.\u00a0 When I\u2019m in need of reassurance, I grab him and hug him.\u00a0 He\u2019s a big help.<\/p>\n

\"muffy2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Because I\u2019m working on infancy issues with Erica, and because my mother left me alone too often and for too long, I\u2019m experiencing with Muffy the same thing small children experience with their \u201csecurity blanket.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a normal healthy thing for a child to do when they are learning that they are not one with the mother but an individual.\u00a0 In my case, I never really felt connected to my mother, so I\u2019m having to re-do this part of my development. \u00a0I hope I will be able to internalize a loving supportive caretaker.<\/p>\n

The received wisdom in the 40’s was that a mother was supposed to leave the baby to cry<\/a>, instead of picking her up every time. \u00a0This would keep her from becoming “spoiled.” \u00a0Mother was alone with me (my father was away fighting WWII) and she was really not prepared for the 24\/7 needs of a baby. \u00a0So it was convenient to leave me to cry.<\/p>\n

The other thing I\u2019m experiencing that a baby experiences when it\u2019s left alone is apathy<\/a>.\u00a0 This has been getting harder.\u00a0 During the summer I had two projects: the Box of Stories<\/a>, and this blog.\u00a0 Now I seem to be apathetic most of the time except when I\u2019m with people.\u00a0 This is why someone doing this work should ideally have 3 appointments per week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Muffy is a little stuffed dog I bought when missing Bella got to be too much for me.\u00a0 He is a \u201ctransitional object,” like the “security blanket”\u00a0a child uses when she is learning that she’s apart from her mother, an … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,11,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-present-day","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4418"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4418\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}