{"id":4394,"date":"2014-10-07T15:05:59","date_gmt":"2014-10-07T19:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4394"},"modified":"2014-10-17T16:56:59","modified_gmt":"2014-10-17T20:56:59","slug":"vocation-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4394","title":{"rendered":"Vocation"},"content":{"rendered":"

I started reading Stephen Cope\u2019s book \u201cThe Great Work of Your Life<\/a>\u201d which is about vocation.\u00a0 I had only read a little way into it, when it became abundantly clear that my vocation is the work I am doing with Erica.\u00a0 Cope talks about people having one vocation and burning out, and finding another vocation.\u00a0 I had felt pretty solidly, except when depressed, that Neskaya was my vocation, but I\u2019ve begun to feel lately, actually since my breakdown in 2008, that Neskaya was going on without me, that I was no longer critical to its functioning.\u00a0 Last Sunday, while Kayla was teaching the program, I felt a sense of abdication, of really handing it over.<\/p>\n

After seeing that my vocation is my work with Erica, I also saw that the blog was part of my vocation:\u00a0 I love doing it, I get a lot of satisfaction out of putting it out there, and most of the time I don\u2019t really care if anyone reads it.\u00a0 Certainly I don\u2019t even entertain fantasies of becoming famous.\u00a0 Instead I trust that the people who are meant to read it will find it.<\/p>\n

Earlier thoughts on vocation:
\nFrom January 19, 2014<\/p>\n

We went in and made cups of tea.\u00a0 Barbara read a piece from the Sufis about single-mindedness. \u00a0 I said I wasn\u2019t interested in enlightenment, I wanted to live my life as well as possible and help heal the earth.\u00a0 I was thinking that my vocation was not found by knowing what I wanted and going for it single-mindedly.\u00a0 Looking back I see I was clearly guided.\u00a0 At least I recognized the pieces when I met them.\u00a0 I told Barbara about the trip with Bettie and my epiphany at Knocknarae<\/a>.\u00a0 Then perhaps about Brunswick & dream class & starting to write the book, and Charles bringing me to Franconia.\u00a0 The connection with folk dance and then sacred circle dance.\u00a0 She was really interested, so it was fun telling her.\u00a0 I told her about California and smashing David\u2019s windows, and going to the Health Center.\u00a0 She thought my life was really interesting which is kind of fun for me.<\/p>\n

After I got home I called Eve & told her the same bit \u2014 looking at my life as though god had designed it. \u00a0 \u2014 and to my utter surprise, I woke up this morning feeling great. \u00a0 Will it last?<\/p>\n

Tuesday, January 21<\/p>\n

When I got to Karen I told her I was doing really well.\u00a0 I told her about looking at my life as though God had designed it.\u00a0 She said this time of feeling good was different, felt different to her.\u00a0 She said I wasn\u2019t immediately wanting to rush out and do things.\u00a0 In the past I would do that and then exhaust myself.\u00a0 She heard me being patient instead of pushy, willing to wait for the right moment, the right task, the right dog. \u00a0 I had been wondering about the painful times.\u00a0 While talking to Karen I remembered the truth that without PTSD and depression, I might have gone on the standard career track, become\u00a0 a science teacher someplace.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned a lot about compassion from being depressed, and it\u2019s also forced me to see that taking care of myself is primary.<\/p>\n

Later I realized that, unlike other times when I have \u201cfinally got somewhere,\u201d this time I\u2019ve seen that I\u2019ve been in God\u2019s hands all along.\u00a0 That Spirit has been guiding my life from the beginning.\u00a0 This reminds me of another meaning of \u201cepiphany\u201d \u2014\u2014 it\u2019s when something that has been there all along suddenly becomes visible.\u00a0 Instead of rushing out to make things happen, I\u2019m willing to wait until the \u201cnext thing\u201d comes along.\u00a0 Gosh what a relief!\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to \u201cfigure out\u201d what my vocation is, all I have to do is look at my life.\u00a0 I\u2019ve handed my life over to God many times, and asked to be given a sign, and was disappointed when nothing happened.\u00a0 I was even disappointed when God said \u201cYou\u2019re doing fine,\u201d I wanted to be given a task, something big that would be visible in the world\u2026\u00a0 Well, you silly person, isn\u2019t Neskaya big enough for you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I started reading Stephen Cope\u2019s book \u201cThe Great Work of Your Life\u201d which is about vocation.\u00a0 I had only read a little way into it, when it became abundantly clear that my vocation is the work I am doing with … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-spirit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4394\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}